The Covid19 lockdowns during the pandemic haven’t stopped those in Britain from getting all sorts of bizarre injuries and medical issues that required hospital treatment during 2020 to 2021.
The Hospital Data Analysis
The NHS patient admission, attendance and appointment data in England for the period 1st April 2020 to 31st March 2021 was analysed by the MailOnline. The NHS presents this data in an anonymous format to maintain confidentiality, omitting any personal information about patients aside from age and gender. It basically tells you basic details of who was admitted or treated and for what general reason, but the how and the outcome parts of the equation are missing.
Bizarre Reasons Hospital Care Was Needed
The analysis pulled out some rather unusual findings. Who would have thought that a 90 year-old woman would have been hospitalised after being “bitten or struck by a crocodile or alligator”?
If you’ve had to have hospital treatment or admissions during this time, at least it’s unlikely to be for one of the below reasons, which may just make you feel a little better!
Let’s have a look at the rather darkly disturbing and simply bizarre reasons hospital treatment or admission was required during Britain’s early pandemic years of 2020/21.

Life & Light Disasters
- Lake Maracaibo in Venezuela gets the most lightning strikes in the world, with up to 40,000 strikes in a single night. Britain doesn’t get as many lightning victims as some countries, so any instance seems like a rare one. Nonetheless, 19 Brits were struck by lightening during 2020-21, the outcomes for which are unknown.
- Somehow, 5 individuals were reported as being hit by volcanic eruptions. That’s quite the feat when there are no volcanoes in the UK! It appears this must have happened abroad, and either they were included in the reporting because they were from the UK, or they were brought here for treatment.
- A firework being incorrectly set off landed a 94-year-old lady in hospital after being hit by it. We can only hope this care home resident was successfully treated after this harrowing ordeal. Fireworks are a much-loved tradition, but their dangers and the need for caution for all ages should not be underestimated.
- Don’t take for granted a children’s playground being safe either. 10 over 80s, perhaps while playing with their grandchildren, had to get hospital treatment after injuries from playground equipment.
- Meanwhile, 62 people were left requiring treatment for ingesting toxic mushrooms. It seems taking to the great outdoors to avoid Covid in the supermarkets wasn’t always the safest option.
Disease Dangers
- If like me you thought anthrax came in the post and wasn’t a current-day disease, you’d be wrong. There were 8 treated cases of anthrax, though thankfully none of them inhaled spores as that’s the most lethal form of this disease. One man in his 30s caught it through an open wound, seven caught anthrax sepsis with spores entering the blood stream directly, but it’s often caught through working with contaminated animals or related products. Fortunately, our modern day medicine can usually successfully treat this worrying infection.
- If you also thought the Black Death plague was ancient history, you’d be wrong again, just like I was. There were 21 plague cases reported within the data for England, most of which were pneumonic plague.
- Ocular myiasis is a condition that leads to flies laying maggots in one or both eyes, which is enough to make your bones itch with the mere thought of it. 35 very unfortunate people developed this, though the ‘how’ is not reported.
- Two children had apparently required treatment for “war operations involving biological weapons”, something many of us probably can’t recall having ever made the news headlines.
Encounters Of A Sexual Kind
- Then comes the curious cases of “Excessive sexual drive”. So-called ‘sex addiction’ can be a life-altering thing to live with, but how it presents as an emergency requiring immediate hospital attention is not something this data alludes to, though it does spark the imagination. 27 admissions were noted for excessive sexual drive, and 5 of these were people over 85 years of age.
- Two 40-year-old men sought hospital treatment for voyeurism. I’m not sure how peeping on those having sex or getting dressed led them to hospital rather than a police station, but there you go. Likewise, 12 men were given treatment for exhibitionism, a typically illegal fetish when done in public where the person gets sexual pleasure or arousal from flashing their naked parts to others.
- Of the foreign object variety of sexual medical emergencies, perhaps pandemic boredom can explain how over 2,000 people ended up needing hospital treatment for foreign objects up their nether regions. It’s bizarre but not uncommon by the look of the data for people to put things where the sun doesn’t shine. 1,097 people stuck something up their bottoms and needed medical assistance, and three quarters of those were men. 233 stuck items in their urethra, and 907 got something stuck in their vagina. It seems humans like to stick things where they shouldn’t, going full circle from shoving toy cars up noses as toddlers, to putting the strangest thing you can think of up nether regions as adults.


Caz ♥
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35 comments
These were hilarious! I’m not actually surprised by the rectal insertion, because it sees like a region where things could get lost. I’m somewhat surprised as to the need for vaginal item extraction; if your cervix isn’t dilated, objects can only go up so far, right? What I am surprised by is the number of objects inserted into urethras. That sounds all kinds of uncomfortable.
I saw a news story about a guy who put a giant screw up his urethra. Why? Who knows. There must be an appeal at the time of doing it. There was another with an AA battery in there, and one with a tape measure. The list of possibilities is endless!
I wonder if the strangeness will increase or decrease in the next year’s data? Who would think boredom could be so dangerous?
Love the banana graphic! People had too much time on their hands.
Playground accidents to the elderly are the easiest to figure out. They try to catch up with their escaping toddler great grandchild and walk straight in front of the swings … or follow them under the zip wire, not even realizing there is a zip wire there and a hulking teenager is approaching at fifty miles an hour.
Over 85 years of age? Oh my..
The world just gets stranger and stranger. Good grief.
Have a fabulous day and rest of the week, Caz. Big hug. ♥
Wow!
Sounds like boredom, mushrooms, snakes and crocodiles don’t mix too well.
Wow!! I’m kind of laughing at some and gobsmacked at others. Anthrax? Like you, I thought that was something deadly sent to politicians in envelopes. And the plague? My goodness, how does that still exist? I feel as though I am living in a more dangerous country than I realised. Where are those crocodiles? Scared to leave home but at least my private bits won’t be getting odd things inserted inside them.
Funny post Caz.
Oh how I needed this laugh! Especially since I was in the ER twice of the last two weeks….for none of the reasons listed!! hahahha
You helped this girl feel much better about going the ER for falling on her face!
Thanks Caz. I love your sense of humor.
Awww no, Wendy! I’m so sorry you’ve had not one but two trips to emergency. Falling on your face sounds mighty dangerous – how much damage was done? Not too much I hope, you have enough to deal with. Unless of course, the fall somehow shakes your brain and stops all the migraines (wouldn’t that be lovely?!) Please take good care of yourself lovely. Sending lots of love xxxxx
I couldn’t stop thinking about this post… LOL. I guess I must live a pretty unadventurous life bcuz the only thing that happened to me during the pandemic is having a glass top to a cooking pan fall on top of my bare foot. Nothing very entertaining. Oh, I think I stubbed my toe, too.
Ouch! I think that’s enough excitement for you for those pandemic years. Don’t start looking at items in your kitchen and wondering where they could go ????
Haha, Caz! ???? I keep all gadgets at a safe distance. LOL!
How droll! <3 I was too busy on WordPress to get THAT bored! Very amusing post, Caz!
Wordpress may have just saved you (and I) some painful mishaps, Cheryl! ????
Strange but true!
Mercy me; after reading all of those weird cases, Caz, I’m oh so pleased with my mundane (well almost) ordered lifestyle. My only not so ordinary event was having my little pinky toe broken when my man stepped on it! We were dancing at the time! Ouch. However, in comparison to the above, this was almost a mere ordinary event, I think… 🙂
xoxoxo
I’m surprised that doesn’t happen more with couples dancing, broken toes and the like. Or at least, it would if I were involved! Did it all heal appropriately with no lingering problems, Carolyn? I hope so. And I hope K is keeping as well as possible, too ???? xx
Yes, Caz, it has mended nicely. I haven’t had any pain now for over a week, and am able to wear shoes I couldn’t. So nice! The timing couldn’t have been better. Keith’s knee op and recovery has also been over that period so we didn’t miss any dancing time, so to speak, because of Keith’s big feet on my toe! Ouch 🙂
Yes, K’s knee is coming along very well. His surgeon advised him, this week, that it is as good as can be expected, and to start cautiously doing things like dancing to assist the recovery. It will still be a number of months before we are back to full steam ahead. However, it’s all looking quite promising!
Sending lots of hugs
xoxoxo
Wow, just wow! Hilarious and horrifying all at the same time…
Yikes! I’m cringing and laughing at the same time!
OMG! My eyes are watering just reading this!
????
Lulu: “‘Excessive sexual drive’, hmm, I don’t think that’s been a problem around here during the pandemic.”
Charlee: “Lulu! I doubt that’s something you should be telling everyone!”
Lulu: “What? I mean, how could it be a problem here? All of us animals are neutered or spayed.”
Chaplin: “Oh, you’re talking about us. Well I guess that’s all right then.”
Lulu: “Why, who did you think I was talking about?”
Charlee & Chaplin: “Uhhh, nobody.”
Dudes! Seriously! You need to specify things like that up front!
This was thoroughly entertaining! I have to admit to being curious to learn more about the volcanic eruptions (wtf?) and excessive sexual drive!
Ah, Caz, I can finally comment. Something was wrong with my connection to your two previous posts, and no matter how I tried (computer or phone, through Reader or copying URL and pasting into browser), nothing worked. I emailed you after your MiniMe to send my love and support; don’t know if you got that message.
Anyway, this one’s oddly funny—a Caz-ally wry post. I do hope you’re maybe having a more comfortable time.
Annie xxxx
Hurrah, I’m so glad you can comment again! It was my last host provider – Lyrical Host – that had caused countless problems with my site. You’re not the only one to have problems, from commenting to painfully slow loading and error messages. I’m glad it’s sorted now. I’ll have to check to find the email from you as I’ve not come across it – so much has piled up over the last couple of months as I’ve been snowed under with everything so I’m sorry you’ve not heard back from me, it’s very kind of you to have reached out so thank you! I promise I wasn’t being deliberately rude. I’m really glad you’re not able to comment & thank you for letting me know! I hope you liked the post – I thought it was a little different and quite eye-opening at the same time. Makes you wonder what goes through someone’s mind when they see things like batteries, bananas or screws and think it’s a good idea to shove them up places they shouldn’t be ???? xx
WOW!!! Ok. You just gifted a huge laugh!!! Wow. Ok. Thank You, beautiful Caz!!! And….wow. ????????❤️
Dear god, I thought ocular myiasis only happened in places like the rain forest or Africa. That’s a horrifying thing to find out.
I knew in the US they had regular bubonic plague, but I didn’t know the pneumonic plague was around or that people could catch it. How did it not infect more people? Was it because of the covid restrictions?
Barely a day goes by without someone, mainly main, having to get treatment for a foreign body getting stuck up their arse, or in rarer cases, down their urethra. People need to be more careful with their kinks
Regular bubonic plague. Yikes. I hadn’t heard of it around during the pandemic either but maybe you’re right, Covid restrictions could have helped limit the spread. “People need to be more careful with their kinks” 😂 I don’t know how some of these mishaps are even possible. Someone ended up with a 5″ bottle inside of them. How?! 😂
that’s a fair few foreign objects 😲
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people with too much time on their hands?
Hilariously funny and somewhat darkly disturbing happenings with odd people during the lockdown. This was a great read, Caz; I really enjoyed it and it was definitely food for thought. You certainly cheered up what would otherwise have been a very dreary day where I am, so many thanks for that. They say, ‘there’s nought so queer as folk.’ I don’t know where that saying comes from, but I remember my uncle used to say it a lot. It makes sense really, especially after having read your account of strange things being put in even stranger places – ouch in some cases! Hope you are well, or as well as you can be. Love Ellie Xxx 🌻🥰💖 P.S. For some reason, I’m not getting notifications or emails when your posts are published. I just happened to find this one in my Reader. I normally get notifications of your posts, though. Another very strange happening. It must be catching! Xx 😁
I’m glad you liked the post and it could give you a giggle! Nowt so queer as folk, very true. The types of things that can go up places you wouldn’t think possible can defy even the laws of physics! I’m sorry for the hassle with the notifications. That’s really weird. I’ve found on a couple of annoying occasions now that WP decides to unfollow someone I follow. I’m guessing it looks like you’re still following me so that can’t be it. And if you normally get email notifications… I’ve no idea! Grr. Have they come back since? Sorry lovely. Technology can be such an arse sometimes. Thanks for letting me know! xxxxx