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Beauty & Body Image Q&A With InvisiblyMe

by InvisiblyMe
The background is a close up photo of pink flowers and green lives in a vintage style. Overlaid is the post title: Beauty & Body Image Q & A with Invisibly Me.

What Are Your Thoughts On Beauty & Body Image?

Today I’m doing something a little different and sharing with you a beauty Q&A between InvisiblyMe and Elizabeth from the fabulous Ice Cream And Clara. She asked me some excellent – and quite difficult – questions, and I did my best to answer them here. Enjoy!

1. What Are Your Three Most Favourite Features?

I’m sure I’m not alone in finding questions like this incredibly difficult to answer. I’ll go for :

  1. My empathy, compassion and sense of humour, with a gloriously sarcastic edge to distract from my super-stressy personality.
  2. My locks when they’re straight out the box! My hair has thinned a lot over the last few years but I love my hair when it’s freshly coloured red because it seems much fuller. Sadly it’s only ever a matter of weeks before it turns 50 shades of ginger.
  3. My eyes, because you can say a lot just through your peepers and they’re pretty damn incredible organs when you think about it to give us the blessing of sight.

2. Where Are Three Places You Go When You’re Feeling Good?

  • The local parks. There are some absolutely gorgeous places for a short walk when I feel up to it, where you can sit beneath a tree to think and reflect, or take a wonder by the water and get some photographs of the swans. 
  • The shower. I love a luxuriously hot shower and singalong to refresh me.
  • To bed. Alone. No, not like that! There’s sadly nothing risqué about this answer. Pain and illness can make sleeping uncomfortable and annoying, so I adore the nights where I can snuggle up and get some proper rest. 
A photo of the local park showing the water and green trees around the lake.
A park in my town.

3. What Beauty Tips & Tricks Never Worked For You?

Blackhead pore strips that claim to rip out blackheads but merely rip the money straight out of your purse.

4. In A Masterclass For ‘How To Look Pretty For School’, What Would You Teach?

Assertiveness, because there’s nothing prettier than being confident and able to stand up for yourself, advocate for yourself, and make your voice heard. 

5. What Are Three Features You Feel Most Insecure About?

1. My stomach, which has been so problematic over the years. When I was much younger, I used to hate myself for being ‘fat’, and back then I was technically overweight considering my BMI. I was self-conscious because of my tummy rolls, but none of that mattered when I suddenly developed health issues age 19.

Bowel problems made the issue of fat and cellulite redundant, because all I wanted was for my insides to work. I now have an ileostomy, so I have a stoma bag on my tum. There are times when I feel very self-conscious and embarrassed, particularly when the bag shows through clothing. Other days I can rock it and not care, grateful only that I’m alive and that modern medicine makes it possible.

2. My teeth. They’re not straight and they’ve never been white, so you’ll very, very rarely see a photo of me smiling with my gnashers on display. 

3. My face, especially when my skin is looking especially pasty, tired and spotty. I tend to think I have a face for radio, but a voice for silent films. 

6. What Would You Tell Your Younger Self About 2020 Beauty Trends?

Listen to what your mother says was cool in beauty and fashion when she was younger. By the time you’re older, those same trends will probably come back around again! 

7. What’s One Item That Helps You To Feel & Look Pretty Without Makeup?

Lip balm. I’m a balm addict who can’t go longer than an hour without re-applying. Even when my skin is washed out, my complexion is spotty and my eyes look like I’ve not slept in a month, having soft, moisturised lips makes me feel a bit more put together. 

8. Finish The Sentence : I Feel Bad For Not Knowing How To…

Properly curl my hair. I’ve got an awesome pair of curling tongs, but any time I’ve attempted it I just like like I’ve had a fresh super-size perm, with ringlets that hang heavily around my face. I can’t even reach the back of my head to do all of the hair, so it baffles me how people can do this by themselves. I would love to try casual, light waves. The reality is a frizzy perm that’s been ruffled by my cat’s claws.

9. When Was The Last Time You Felt Insecure?

A specialist appointment at the hospital. I wasn’t feeling on top form to begin with but I was put on the spot to try to explain my symptoms and justify my feelings. If you get a doctor or specialist that doesn’t care, is sceptical or is otherwise just totally ignorant, they can make you feel super insecure and defeated just by looking at you.

It’s a test in perseverance as you try to pull some confidence out your ass and stand up for yourself. Our health is worth fighting for, but sometimes it can really knock our self-belief. 

10. Give Someone A Piece Of Beauty Advice In One Emoji.


^ Nope, wrong one.


^ This one. A smile and a good attitude with gratitude and compassion can radiate beauty from the inside out. It’s cheesy but it’s true.

11. Where Would You Go If You Felt All-Confident? Be As Honest As You Can!

To see my ex from years ago, the one I was madly in love with and wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It was an unfinished kind of break-up. I always thought I could get my tummy issues sorted then I’d try to meet up with him again. The years went by and my health just got worse. I’ve not seen him since we broke up when I was 19, and I’m 32 now. In that time I’ve had numerous surgeries and my body continues to fall apart, whereas he’s moved again (even further away) and also got married.

I would love to feel a bit better and more confident so I could see him again, even if it’s just to rule a line under it all and not live with so many regrets.

12. What Is Your Recurring Confidence Daydream?

Either a scenario with the above, meeting up with my long-lost-ex while the Romeo & Juliet soundtrack plays in the background, or me kicking ass in a high school reunion. When I was younger, I was the geek chic chick that actually enjoyed homework, worked extra hard to get decent grades, and always came home with the words “she has so much potential” at least three times in the teacher reports each year. I’d love to know where that potential went. As my health went downhill, so did everything else. I feel like I’ve got nothing to show for my life and it’s pretty disheartening sometimes.

One thing I’d love to do is write a book, though I’ve never even written the first page. I’d love to be super confident walking into a room with the bullies that made my life a living hell in school, head held high feeling happy, loved and content with myself and my life. I would answer the obligatory “what do you do?” question with, “I’m an author, freelance writer & blogger”.

I know that being a good person is more valuable than anything you do for a living or the sum of the things you’ve achieved, but I’m only human and I would feel good knowing I could say something like that.

13. When Do You Feel Most Confident?

When I share my brutally honest feelings and experiences with others, such as on my blog. It’s excruciatingly difficult to sometimes, especially if it’s embarrassing or you’re having to show the negative realities in life. There can be pressure as a blogger to always be positive and uplifting, but sharing the truth, no matter how unpopular sometimes, is so important because I know there will be people out there that get it.

Sharing our stories will help us to realise we’re perhaps not as alone as we may feel. There will be people that relate to your struggles, your down days, your embarrassing stories and your health challenges. I feel powerful when I overcome the fear of speaking out and do it anyway.

14. What Memory Makes You Feel Powerful About Yourself?

When I accepted the offer to work in Indianapolis for 6 weeks with the airplane company I worked for when I was 19. I’d never been abroad before, I’d never flown in a plane, and I’d never been away from home for longer than a couple of days. I was still very shy back then too, and it would take a few more years to grow more confident and assertive. It was terrifying, it was exciting and I loved it.

I had just developed the start of tummy issues back then though, so I was very close to pulling out of going. I’m glad I didn’t. It was a learning curve and a huge achievement for me. 

15. What Does Pretty Feel Like To You?

My interpretation of pretty or beauty is not the story that mass media tend to push. I’m not a big fan of trowelled-on make-up, three-inch deep pencilled-on eyebrows, plastic surgery and fake teeth picked out of a catalogue (although I wouldn’t say no to that last one). I’m not in favour of any particular size, shape or body decor. Everyone is beautiful and there’s no such thing as perfection or the ‘ideal’ look for which we should be falling over ourselves trying to attain.

I’m all for making yourself look how you want and doing what makes you feel confident, but that’s the issue: it should be about what you want, how you want to look. It shouldn’t be about following the unwritten rules of society, about fitting in or about emulating what you see on social media. Nor should it be about creating someone completely different each morning because you’re ashamed or embarrassed about who you really are underneath. There’s a big difference between enhancing, having fun and perking ourselves up, and hiding behind layers so as to show the world a different person.

Pretty is accepting and loving ourselves as we are first and foremost, forgetting the goals and expectations that we feel pushed towards. Beauty is subjective. Write your own rules about how that looks. 

16. How Much Does Body Image Affect What You Create?

In a way, low confidence squashes my ability to update Insta with selfies galore or post more shots of myself on my blog. It’s held me back from giving my content a greater personal edge or giving YouTube creations a go. However, my experiences with low confidence and body image concerns have also made me more aware of their importance and their potential for damage in our lives.

My experiences, good and bad, make me more passionate and opinionated, driven to raising awareness, tackling eating disorders, and promoting self-care. I take photos for my blog without make-up and I don’t use Photoshop. Perfection and the idealised notions of how we should look are elusive and dangerous.

Perfection is merely a concept, not a reality. 

A black scroll divider.

Over To You – What’re your three most favourite features, or what are the things you’re most insecure about?

Caz  ♥

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mimionlife October 13, 2020 - 5:55 pm

Very interesting. The way we perceive ourselves is often different from how others see us. 🙂

ashleyleia October 13, 2020 - 6:02 pm


Blogging_with_Bojana October 13, 2020 - 6:17 pm

You’re a synonym for pretty, Caz. Standing tall against all odds.
I feel good here as well, sharing stuff about myself that I’d consider embarrassing elsewhere.

johnrieber October 13, 2020 - 6:19 pm

Thanks for sharing this….

Looking for the Light October 13, 2020 - 6:37 pm

Great answers. I’ve been meaning to ask it that a mole by your lip or a ring? What do I like, I won’t go for features, I’ll say qualities. I’m very curious about everything and can’t learn enough even though I’ll never need it. I’m honest, like you sometimes to a fault. and I’m pretty self assured. I’m also 57 not 32 so I’ve had many years to get that way.
Take care.

Sandee October 13, 2020 - 6:41 pm

You are most beautiful, Caz. I’m 69 and my beauty has faded, but I’m happy in my skin. I think that being happy in your skin is the first step in being beautiful.

Excellent post on beauty and body image. I think we girls are expected to look a certain way. Men don’t have to go through this.

Have a fabulous day. ♥

InvisiblyMe October 14, 2020 - 5:17 pm

I certainly wouldn’t want you to think your beauty has faded, Sandee. Beauty changes, it doesn’t disappear. I agree with how girls and women get pressure, directly and indirectly, regarding how to look. I do think men get this too, it’s just different. There’s probably more there on how to behave and act, like with the notion of masculinity involving not showing emotion or crying, those kinds of dangerous stereotypes that push people into changing to ‘fit’ with social standards. It’s damaging stuff. Thank you for the comment lovely! xx

Darnell Cureton October 13, 2020 - 7:52 pm

Great interview Caz. No matter what the topic or health issue, you continue to impress and show confidence that we (and me ????) can draw from. Informative, popular, and genuine. GIRL POWER! Your advice and encouragement comes from the heart. We are happy to support you. We get back 3 times as much. Yep…me too. Have a wonderful day.

Mykie October 13, 2020 - 8:10 pm

You’re awesome. I’ve been told all my life my assertiveness was anything but attractive (on a woman, ahem). I totally agree with you, though. Confidence is a very attractive quality. As usual, I totally disagree about that face for radio quip! Maybe someday you’ll believe all the compliments you get! Xx

Masha October 13, 2020 - 9:09 pm

Great interview, you’re really amazing!!! I think you inspire and encourage a lot of women. xoxo

Masha October 13, 2020 - 9:10 pm

Ooooops I left out from my response that you inspire and encourage – me too 🙂

Nourish October 13, 2020 - 9:19 pm

Great interview! Body image is something I’ve struggled A LOT with, having an eating disorder and all. Self-acceptance takes years, maybe even a lifetime. I don’t expect to ever truly love my body but I’m getting to a place where I accept it, and that’s a start. Thank you for continuing to be honest and real in your writing; it helps a lot of people, myself included.

Michelle October 13, 2020 - 9:30 pm

I love your beauty advice emoji! Now every time I use that emoji I’ll be thinking of your words. (Not the poop one. LOL!!!)

Unwanted Life October 14, 2020 - 12:00 am

I’m with you on blackhead pore strips, they just dry out your top layer of skin then pull that skin away, rather than actually clearing your pores.

The three things I’m insecure about are:

1. My hair as I wrecked it and caused permanent traction alopecia.
2. My belly as I’ve gained weight due to reactive hypoglycaemia.
3. My teeth as they’re not white enough

Carolyn Page October 14, 2020 - 12:44 am

Oh, Caz, I identify with most of your answers, if not all to some degree or another. I especially like #13, which you do so well. Yes, it can be rather daunting to speak out. I know because this has become my life to a great extent. You just have to take that bull by its horns and throw it as hard as you can – LOL. Only in this way can we continue to be true to ourselves. And this ‘being true to ourselves’ I have found to be the greatest gift we can give
And, by the way, I do hope you get this ‘body image’ not posting lots of you on-line thing sorted. Yes, I appreciate your feelings, however, as someone mentioned above – “The way we perceive ourselves is often different from how others see us.” So true!

foodzesty October 14, 2020 - 6:27 am

Great interview Caz!!! I think you’re fabulousssss and you definitely inspire me to move on!!

Animalcouriers October 14, 2020 - 9:41 am

Wonderful, powerful answers!

Svet Pavlovsky October 14, 2020 - 4:04 pm

For me you are beautiful. Your words are uplifting, companionate and caring. It was fascinating to read about you and that brought a smile to my face. I hope you are having a good day

Stacey Chapman October 16, 2020 - 2:43 pm

OMG. All I can say is WOW. What great and incredibly difficult questions to answer and some really brutally honest and courageous answers to them. What an empowering (and sometimes sad) post. I’ve come to expect nothing less from your Caz. Now I just need to go find Elizabeth at Ice Cream and Clara!!
ps I think you’re perfect, just the way you are AND I LOVE that you’re a total smartass. ????

xoxo Stace

englishwithkirsty October 26, 2020 - 2:58 pm

You absolutely should write a book!

You make so many important points here. Some of the changes in the blogging world haven’t been for the better, but I believe there are still people out there who will post the unpopular opinions, challenge the norms or stereotypes, or talk about the things that we try to hide. And it’s amazing how, when you start to do that, you realise you’re not alone.

Holly November 14, 2020 - 2:41 am

This post was so much fun, Caz! I enjoyed reading and learning more about you so much. Isn’t it funny how we take for granted how interesting we are as people? I guess living in our own skin day in and day out makes us feel boring, when in reality, we’re anything but!

I second this statement from you under the heading of what you love about yourself: “My empathy, compassion and sense of humour, with a gloriously sarcastic edge to distract from my super-stressy personality.” — You are amazingly kind-hearted, beautiful inside and out, and I’m grateful to have met you, as I’ve said before. Your sense of humor has had me splitting with laughter many times. Your empathy has brightened some difficult, dark days. Please never underestimate how special you are.

I adore the places you listed as well for where you go when you’re feeling up to it. Parks are amazing, aren’t they? The scenery I’ve seen from your home country has literally taken my breath away. The flowers, trees, walks paths — wow, just gorgeous! I can see why you enjoy it. And you’re right about the joy of a great night’s rest! I wholeheartedly share your enthusiasm!

I laughed so hard at #10. Your sense of humor is hilarious. I love when you let that part of your personality shine through. It’s the best! Lord knows we need more laughter these days, right?

Words can’t express how sorry I am that you had such unfinished business with your ex. That’s a really tough way to feel because closure helps us in so many ways. One thing I’d love for you to realize about yourself is how you are overflowing with potential. Though your health is a challenge for you – there’s no limit to who Caz can be and what she can do. In my opinion, you ARE an author — the book just hasn’t been completed (or finished) yet! Your writing is second to none and I believe in your abilities beyond a doubt. I hope and pray one day you see this in yourself the way I, and so many others do.

Another amazing post, my friend. Thanks for the fun of getting a glimpse into the mind and heart of you. You’re awesome, Caz, and you do kick ass — every day.


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