Confidence is a strange thing that some people seem to have in spades and other don’t seem to have at all. But looks can be deceiving, and confidence is about far more than merely looking the part. Whether you struggle to act confident or want to get a new perspective on being assertive, this collaborative post brings together a few things you need to know.
Confidence Is Deep
Often when you think someone is confident, you are looking at how they look and act on the surface, but in fact, this really doesn’t mean much. People go to different lengths to target issues that dent their confidence, which is why the markets for age-defying treatments, plastic surgery and spot creams will forever flourish. If you’re always self-conscious about your teeth, you could find out more about dental implants so you can smile with confidence. These things are designed to provide us with that extra encouragement to face the world.
The problem is, confidence goes a lot deeper than appearances. It’s about feeling worthy. It’s about believing in yourself and feeling accepting of who you are. It’s about being assertive and standing up for yourself. It’s about knowing your values and sticking to them. It’s about not comparing yourself, caring a little less about what others think, and speaking to yourself a little more kindly. It’s about being happy with who you are.
Confidence Is Attractive
Confidence shouldn’t be confused with arrogance, the latter of which can involve being self-absorbed and egotistical. With confidence, you can actually become a little less self-conscious and a little more tuned in to those around you. There’s also some deeper evolutionary angle here, in that it radiates strength and security. Owning who you are without apology is attractive.
Everyone Has Feelings Of Insecurity
Even those who come across as highly confident or who seem to have it all will often have things they’re insecure about. This is why comparisons can be dangerous, and why social media is deceptive because you only see what the other person wants you to see. You never know what’s truly going on inside the minds and lives of others.
What You Think Of Yourself Is What Matters
Caring what other people think of you can be damaging. Being truly confident means being grounded, knowing who you are and not caring too much about what others think of you. At the end of the day, you is all you have and you’re the one living with you every second of the day. Get comfortable and start to love your own company.
You Can Fake Confidence
The expression ‘Fake it till you make it‘ is a useful one because it typically works. What we aim for is genuine confidence in ourselves, but faking it first can help you to realise that you can act confident even when you don’t feel it. You might not believe it at first but give it a try. Test it out and see how it feels. Faking being more confident can help us to become more confident.
Confidence Needs Building
Confidence does not just appear overnight, even if some people come across as naturally self-assured. Building it takes time and effort. Nurture your self-esteem as a means of self-care – it’s about feeling worthy, feeling good enough, and not comparing yourself to others.
The concept of beauty is rife with standards that can make it hard to be yourself. However, you can take baby steps to build or cultivate a positive self-image free of those cumbersome rules. Give it a try in any of your life, doing away with the rules and pressures to work on embracing who you are. Take your clothes, for instance, and wear what makes you feel good and confident. Being able to embrace your body shape and size and dress the way you see best so you can enjoy is really important. If you’re on holiday, sunbathing or out for a swim, the experience can be hindered at best and ruined at worst if you’re worried about how you look & lack the confidence to enjoy what you’re doing. Wearing something you love and rockin’ it can help improve your daily mood and long-term happiness by feeling that fear and doing it anyway.
Confidence Can Slip
Having confidence doesn’t mean you won’t slip and find yourself randomly racked with insecurities. What it does mean though is that you’ll be able to handle whatever comes your way. Having confidence in yourself will allow you to know that you can get through tough times, that life won’t always be like this, and that you’ll learn from mistakes and pick yourself up to try again.
Positive Thinking Encourages Confidence
This isn’t about cheesy positive thinking. Thinking of positive outcomes encourages confidence because you’re less worried and anxious about all the things that could go wrong. If you think about all the ways something could go right, then your confidence will increase and it’s more likely you’re going to achieve positive outcomes. Less room for stress, self-doubt and negativity leaves more space for positivity and confidence to bloom.
What do you think about confidence being more than skin deep? Do you have any tips for being more confident in life?
[ This is a collaborative post and as such the ideas expressed here are that of the author ]