Iβm personally not a fan of New Year Resolutions in the traditional sense. They suggest that thereβs something wrong with us that needs fixing and that weβre not good enough as we are. Instead of putting undue pressure on ourselves, how about we think of basic things weβd like to focus on, without judgement or guilt. Here are just 12 alternative ‘resolutions’ and intentions that are worth thinking about this year.
1. Slow Down, Stress Less & Appreciate More
Easier said than done, right? Stress can have significant ramifications for our mental and physical health. While it has an evolutionary benefit, stress can become a prolonged issue for many people, a never-ending high-stress cycle thatβs hard to break. Instead of helping us it to perform at our best, it can hinder us and make life miserable and difficult emotionally, while also damaging our physical health.
In our modern world, it seems like it’s perversely held in high regard if you can be constantly doing and continually stressed. It’s almost expected and admired, with getting rest being something that’s frowned upon even as talk of ‘self-care’ gains popularity. It’s a conundrum that you can’t win. If you’re falling into this trap, you’re not alone.
Are there any things in particular causing you stress? Is there anything you can let go of or change in order to take some of that pressure off? What do you think might be helpful in managing stresses you canβt do away with, such as mindfulness, meditation, exercise, therapy, self-help books, and so on? Sometimes we need a change of perspective to ease off the gas pedal a little, and now is the perfect time to take a look at your stress levels and what to do about them.
Letting go of hangups, stresses, repetitive thoughts and old hurts is much easier said than done, but if there are things that aren’t serving you well then it’s a good idea to try to take them off your shoulders. I personally have found 2020 to be difficult emotionally because I’ve found levels of anger I never knew I had. Anger at the government, the NHS, so-called ‘covidiots’, the way people have been treated during the pandemic and so on. It builds to a point where it becomes toxic. Appreciate the things you can’t change and identify what only causes you harm to hold on to.
Next is that whole βattitude of gratitudeβ, which may sound cheesy but it can be pretty powerful in changing how you feel on a deeper level. Just taking a moment when you can to think of the positives or the things youβre grateful for can boost your mood. Itβs just not as easy to do when everything feels rubbish and the days are particularly dark, though those are the times itβs arguably all the more beneficial.
Iβd also highly recommend assessing your perspective and expectations. This is something that happened for me when I got ill and the world got a lot smaller and the goal posts changed dramatically, as they have for many others with chronic illness.
Instead of the big things, I started looking at the small things, even the teeny tiny ones. I find joy in the much smaller elements of life these days. You donβt have to do mind-blowing activities or own extravagant things to be content and find joy. Nowβs the time to slow down and start seeing the beauty and comfort in the small things we often take for granted.
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2. Find A Little Meaning
Without getting too deep on the meaning of life, a general sense of meaning is key to our sense of overall wellness. This encompasses meaning in your day to day life and the things you do, as well as meaning in a larger sense, in relation to other people and the world at large.
You donβt need to have achieved monumental, world-shattering things in your life for it to have meaning, nor do you need to have lots of people in your life in order for it to be important. Having some sense of purpose or passions can be motivational and fulfilling.
3. Know Your Morals & Principles, Then Live Them
What are the things youβre fired up about or excited about? What do you believe in? What subjects do you find gear you up for debating and what do you feel is worth fighting for? Maybe you argue your point over politics, animal cruelty or human rights, or perhaps youβre passionate about the environment, healthcare or overcoming inequality.
What about your everyday morals and way of life? Whatβs important to you? Being a good person, being honest, having integrity, living authentically, being a good friend, respecting others, being on time, working hard.
Know what you believe in, what kind of person you are and want to be, and what things youβre passionate about. Be that person and uphold those principles. An authentic life means aligning with your core beliefs and living them.
4. Get Into A Supplement Routine
If you have supplements you want or need to take, do you take them regularly as required? For many of us, having a range of prescription medications, over the counter products and then supplements on top can become a bit of a chore and itβs easy to forget to take them or even forget what youβve taken.
Try to get into a stable routine of what to take and when, coming up with a way to ensure you take whatβs required each day. We start with the best of intentions with taking Vitamin C, Vitamin D, magnesium and so on, but then life comes along and they can go by the wayside.
Try creating a tick sheet by hand or on your computer that you can print and complete each week, use a medication app, set alarm reminders, or use a dosette box. There are a few options to try out so find whatever works best for you.
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5. Get Routine Checks
Itβs worrying to think how many routine health checks have been missed in 2020, from eye tests and dental check-ups, to breast cancer screening and smear tests. If you have any symptoms that are worrying you, or youβre curious as to whether you might have a certain condition or deficiency, speak to your doctor. Be assertive and try to get whatever tests you need. Covid has made many weary of attending clinics, and in many cases appointments have been delayed or cancelled altogether.
Donβt put routine checks off if you can book them this year and safely attend as they can save hassle in the long run, or even save a life.
You could also consider having private blood tests from home or clinics, especially if youβre struggling to get the tests you need in the UK via the NHS. Check out Medichecks for their extensive range of blood tests, and see my review for 10% off.
Building in some healthier habits where possible is a good idea too, from less stress, practicing regular dental hygiene and attempting to improve your sleep, to less processed foods, more movement and adequate water intake.
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6. Do Away With Unnecessary Guilt
In theory, guilt should serve a useful purpose in directing our emotions and future behaviours. Unfortunately, like other maladaptive curiosities such as anxiety, guilt can also become dysfunctional and damaging. Many people can struggle with guilt to some degree. Those with chronic illness often find it to be a feature in their lives, when weβve perhaps lost jobs, social lives and meaning in our days.
Whatever the reasons, guilt can be pervasive and sneak up on us. Guilt for not doing enough, guilt for smiling, guilt for feeling depressed, guilt for making an unimportant mistake, guilt for not earning enough money, guilt for looking after ourselves. Over time it becomes a heavy burden on our shoulders that suffocates us, and itβs a cycle thatβs difficult to break.
Dig a little deeper and see what lies beneath the guilt. Those are the bigger issues that need carefully dismantling and disarming, whether itβs feelings of shame, not being worthy, or something else entirely. If youβre struggling, please reach out or speak to your GP for professional support.
7. Get On Top Of Finances
Money can cause a lot of stress, oddly enough both when you have it and when you donβt. Whatever your financial situation, itβs never too late to get on top of your finances in some way. Get to grips with what money you have, what you spend it on and your typical spending habits.
What expenses do you have coming up and what are your savings goals? Are there any ways you can save money here and there, or earn a little extra? Do you need to look at changing bank accounts for better interest rates? Do you want to diversify your investments if you have them? Get the bigger picture on your money, savings and expenditure to better get to grips with your finances.
Even simply gathering the information can ease some stress because youβll know whatβs what. when money a worrying unknown that youβre reluctant to face, it can start feeling out of our control or we might even avoid dealing with it altogether, so having it laid out in front of you can give you a better perspective of the situation and where to go from there.
8. Laugh More
Laughter is a great form of free therapy and we probably all need a little more of it. Whether itβs laughing at a funny comedy show or cute cats on Facebook, reading rude jokes or watching funny YouTube clips, a little chuckle can lighten the day. It also eases the pressure if you can learn to laugh at yourself and the situation sometimes, just to take off the edge of seriousness of the experience.
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9. Prioritise Self-Care
Self-care is three dimensional. There are smaller elements of self-care that we often read about, like taking a luxurious bath or using face masks and buying ourselves a treat. And then there are the bigger parts, such as standing up for yourself, saying βnoβ when you need to, and believing in your own value. Make 2021 the year to prioritise all of these elements. Make more time for YOU, for the things you enjoy, and for looking after yourself.
It doesnβt mean becoming self-absorbed and selfish, it just puts you in a better position to manage life and reduce any resentment that can come from neglecting yourself when youβre so busy taking care of everything and everyone else.
Make sure your basic needs get met first and then look at the ways you can feel better in yourself and make your days more meaningful and enjoyable.
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10. Be More Assertive
Standing up for yourself and your needs is one of the bigger, vital elements of self-care. It ties into how you see yourself and your self-worth, so itβs about recognising that you are worth fighting for. Be your own advocate when it comes to your needs and your health.
Be a little more confident and assertive when it comes to asking for what you want and need, to saying βnoβ, and to standing up for your feelings.
11. Appreciate Nature & Fresh Air
Lockdown has made us realise the value of getting outside and enjoying green spaces. Connecting with nature can reduce stress and help you to feel more grounded, and getting fresh air is a good way to cleanse and refresh you from the inside out.
You could be sat down enjoying some peace and quiet in the garden, deep breathing and meditating on the grass, or taking a short walk around a park. Fresh air, a little exercise if possible, mindful breathing, and appreciating nature can be beneficial for our minds and bodies. Only do this if you safely can. If not, it’ll be something to look forward to once the pandemic is finally over.
Likewise, animals and pets can also be grounding and calming, so itβs unsurprising that research often finds that pets can be beneficial for our mental and physical wellbeing.
12. Write Your Own Rules
Do you ever feel as though youβre behind in life? That there are certain pressures, expectations and unwritten rules about the things you βshouldβ be doing, the life you βshouldβ be living, and the things you βshouldβ be achieving at particular points in your life?
It can make anyone feel like theyβre behind and feel disappointed in their lives. For those with chronic illness, life may have gone totally off-track, with nothing you could have done to stop it from happening. You may not be be able to do the things you want to do, let alone the things society suggests you should be doing. You just end up feeling useless and not good enough, comparing yourself not just to the implied social expectations, but to your peers, colleagues or family as well.
So what if you havenβt settled down or got a dream career? So what if you still live with your parents or if youβre not earning what your peers are? So what if you donβt have a colourful social life, a Bentley in the driveway or attend five social clubs each week?
Really think about it – do these expectations even interest you? You might find they donβt and that you couldnβt care less, but that you feel bad for not living up to them anyway. You might find that some of them do interest you but that you canβt achieve them, at which point itβs time to adjust your expectations and perspective so that theyβre more in line with your life and abilities currently.
Itβs time to stop comparing. Itβs time to realise that these unwritten social rules and expectations are made to be broken. Theyβre inflexible, unrealistic, and theyβre not yours. This is your life and you need to live it as you see fit. You may take a totally different route to what youβd ever thought you would, but the only person that needs to be happy with who you are and what your life looks like is you.
Write your own rules about how your life looks and live it without apology.
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β₯ β₯ β₯
There are of course heaps of small changes you might want to make this year, from recycling more to looking after your skin more regularly. I personally would steer clear of the βresolutionsβ that pile on the pressure and that are basically telling you that youβre not good enough as you are, which often revolve around image and weight.
Iβd also sidestep unrealistic goals and things you donβt really want. It shouldnβt be about forcing yourself into a box and berating yourself for perceived βfailuresβ.
You might want to look at little changes to help you towards your goals, or adjustments that can enable you to better manage stress or chronic illness and pain. You might just want to simply define particular things to focus more on this year, such as time with family.
Donβt select things because you think you βshouldβ. Focus on the things that actually matter to you, without the pressure, without the added stress and definitely without the guilt trips.
Caz β₯
61 comments
An excellent list. I’m happy to say that I do all these things. You just have to.
Have a fabulous day and week, Caz. Big hug. β₯
That’s great, Sandee – sounds like you’ve got a handle on all the good stuff already, I take my hat off to you!
Wishing you both a lovely week too ???? x
Wonderful compiled list and love them all . A must read and a great reminder Caz, lovely share!
I’m really glad you liked the list, Nisha, thank you ???? xx
Thanks Caz, terrific inspirational reading. Happy New Year XXX
Aw thank you, Helen, I’m glad you liked it. My fingers are crossed it’s a brighter New Year for you too lovely ???? xx
These are much more meaningful!
I’m glad you agree, much better than feeling pushed into doing things we don’t want or feeling so much pressure not to ‘fail’. x
I don’t really like rules, but at times we have to follow them.
Slow Down, Stress Less & Appreciate More. Guilty as charged. I should definitely work on those. And laugh. I used to laugh more. Am I growing old or I just have more worries. Beats me.
I’m a good girl with rule-following, I just don’t like the unwritten ones that imply we’re not good enough as we are; we have to look a certain way, we need to buy a house and settle down and have a child by 35, while also having a well-paying career, we need to like to travel and be part of a book club.. you get the picture. I hope you can take this year to slow down a little and laugh more. I think it’s pretty typical that we laugh less, get more cynical and weighed down with worries and things to stress about with age, which is such a shame. With more stress comes more need for laughter! ???? xx
A terrific list! I love that it includes ways to make your own life better – and well as ways to be part of a better world around you!
That’s a good way to look at the list, John. I’m really pleased you like it – thank you! I hope 2021 can be a good year for you & yours ????
I like your style of resolutions!
Glad to hear it! ????
I love every single thing about this!
Thanks for a great post!
<3
Aww that’s great – I’m really glad you like it, thanks lovely! Wishing you & yours all the very best for a happy New Year ???? xx
A great list. Wishing you all the best in 2021!
Thanks lovely – I hope it’s a good new year ahead for you & yours! ???? xx
I made my last New Year’s Resolution when I was in school in 1969. π Enjoy.
Resolving not to make any resolutions, I like it. I bet the years since then have been better without new resolutions! ????
Caz, thoughtful and thought -provoking post. <3 Have a great 2021!
Thank you very muchly, Cheryl, I’m glad you liked it. Wishing you all the very best for a brighter New Year! ???? xx
Another brilliant post Caz! We really have to learn that we’re fine just the way we are…. As you said, often those New Year’s Resolutions revolve around feeling that we’re just not good enough the way we are. Learning to appreciate the unique creations we are and doing things (like the things you’ve listed here) to support our wellbeing is much better than beating ourselves up over our perceived shortcomings. Wishing you all the best for this upcoming year!
You’re right, our focus should be on accepting, loving and appreciating ourselves as we are, rather than trying to ‘fix’ things all the time and living as though we’re not good enough. You’ve said it so well, Terri. Thank you – Wishing you & yours all the very best for a bright New Year ???? xx
This is my kind of list Caz and not resolutions that set you to fail and give pressure. I can’t remember the last time I did resolutions. Doing this way is so much kinder for yourself and weneed more of that than ever before.
Absolutely, Liz, that’s how I feel too. There’s too much pressure and failure right around the corner with typical ‘resolutions’. Such nonsense, I don’t know why we do it to ourselves. I’m glad you like these alternatives! xx
Charlee: “The thing we like best about these lists is that most of it is stuff we already do, on account of we’re cats.”
Chaplin: “Make our own rules? Check. Prioritize self care? Check. Be assertive? Check. Appreciate the outdoors? Check.”
Lulu: “When do you two appreciate the outdoors? You never go outside.”
Charlee: “We do it from the windows, watching the birds.”
Lulu: “Okay. But what about getting on top of your finances?”
Chaplin: “Pffft. That’s the humans’ problem.”
Oh how I’d love to be a cat! They’ve got the good life right there ????
All these things, just an absolutely amazing post. This speaks true to me. I’ve never believed in resolutions at new year, even pre crohns and alot of what you said is why. I also put pressure on my myself when I am not doing things, if I am simply being still, its stupid. But the most profound thing in your blog was:
Iβd also highly recommendΒ assessing your perspective and expectations
This is huge, if you can take a few back an analyse these it really does help. Thanks again Caz so beautifully worded with this post as always.
Aw thank you lovely, I’m really glad you liked the post. I’m both glad (and not glad) that you can relate, especially with that pressure when you’re not doing things. It’s pretty perverse how out modern culture seems to expect this now, that you get a gold star for running yourself ragged. I hate that so many of us feel guilty for resting or for trying to slow down. I really do think adjusting perspectives and expectations can be incredibly powerful too. Like you said, sometimes we just need to take that step back first to get a grip on everything. Thank you for the wonderful comment. Wishing you all the best for a brighter New Year! xx
A superb set of suggestions. If one managed a handful, things should look up!
I’m glad you liked them. I know what you mean; if I could manage just one, it’d be a good start! ???? Wishing you & yours all the very best for a brighter New Year! x
Thank you for sharing!.. I don’t make any resolutions, I just follow my heart, rarely go wrong!.. βDon’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.β (Roy T. Bennett).. π
Until we meet again may 2021 be all that you and yours wish for it to be and each and every day be filled with peace, love and happinessβ¦ π
Following your heart sounds like the best plan. I love that quote, too, thank you for sharing it! Wishing you all the very best for a brighter New Year ????????
I love these. I always think that making resolutions at new year is pointless and, rather than help, often put so much pressure on to people.Lives are difficult enough without putting added pressure on ourselves. I like your ideas, because they are all things that we should all be doing, all the time to give us easier lives. Lovely post.
I agree, pointless and extra pressure that we don’t need to be piling on top of everything else. I’m glad you like the alternative selections, Liz. They’re pretty much all examples of ‘do as I say, not as I do’, but I think even if we manage to just do a little of any of these we could feel the benefits. Thanks lovely xx
Excellent post, as always
Thanks, Leyla – I’m glad you liked it! x
So many people cause themselves unnecessary pressure with resolutions. I like your alternatives much more. If we are well, we can do so much more for ourselves and others. xx
I’m absolutely with you on that unnecessary pressure. Looking at treating ourselves a little more kindly would be the best start we could make to the year, and as you say, then we can do a lot more for ourselves and for others. Thanks, Viola. Wishing you & yours all the best for a brighter New Year xx
These are great, especially the first one!
Happy New Year!
Thanks – I’m glad you liked them! Happy New Year – I hope 2021 is a good one for you ????
Great resolutions for the New Year, Caz! I like the slow down and be more present in whatever we do. Also, it is always good to be assertive for yourself. And spending time in nature and with our fur babies is one of my favorite. I hope you are having a good day!
Slowing down and being in the present is something I need to work on. It’s a continual work in progress, but this year has been manic so I imagine there will be a lot of us who’d benefit from reducing stress, slowing down & looking after ourselves a little more. I hope you can spend more time in nature and with the furbabies to make you smile this year, Svet! xx
You took the words right out of my mouth Caz – I also don’t really like the idea of new year’s resolutions due to the pressure they create, but your list of refreshing ideas is great. I love number 8 and never 9 is definitely something I intend to work on this year.
Gemma x
It’s amazing that NY resolutions, as well as the whole “New Year, New Me” malarky, are still so popular. The pressure can be ridiculous and we just end up hating ourselves or feeling like failures. I’m really glad you like the alternative suggestions here, Gemma. I hope 2021 is a good year for you lovely xx
You too Caz! xx
No goals this year. Only systems to make something work.
‘Systems to make something work’ – that’s a great focus and perspective to take! x
I really love this post and it has inspire me a lot.
Aw I’m really glad you liked it, Kally! xx
Great ideas! Definitely into setting own goals – way better than scoring them. X
Absolutely! Thanks, Marilyn, glad you liked the post ???? x
Dare I say it has probably come with age, but Iβve learned to be much more me over the last couple of years. Becoming (slightly) more assertive, doing what I need and taking care of myself mentally.
That’s really good to hear, Gemma. I imagine some probably is with age and experience. I’ve felt the same, and I think my health experiences have forced me to be a bit more assertive, too. I hope 2021 can be more of that good stuff for you, taking care of yourself and being YOU ???? x
Great post and definitely make sense to me π
Thanks lovely, I’m glad you liked it! ???? x
Perfect list Caz, all things that I know I have to do but I need to make myself do them more. As soon as I tell myself ‘do this, stop doing that’ I fail. Like Gemma, though, the older I get the more likely I am to just speak my mind, which I guess is a good thing! xxx
Outstanding post, Caz! Thank you! What awesome resolutions to list out and they truly are some of the most important of all!
Here you go again, Caz — knocking it out of the park and giving us some real food for thought. Right off the bat you caught my attention with this sentence: “In our modern world, it seems like itβs perversely held in high regard if you can be constantly doing and continually stressed.” — Yes! I have always found the societal ‘norm’ that stressed = success to be offensive and bizarre at best! Thank you for drawing attention to how absurd this notion is!
I also adore how you talk about finding joy in the simpler things of life. Amen! If our content and satisfaction in life comes from only those ‘big’ gains or rewards, we miss everyday moments to feel fulfilled. Plus, we find ourselves always striving … for what? Ultimately, it only leads to more stress and emptiness!
“Having some sense of purpose or passions can be motivational and fulfilling.” — Isn’t it amazing what this one truth can do for our overall well-being? In my humble opinion, we can’t focus on it enough. We ALL need something to wake up for, be excited about, and feel thankful to be a part of. When this purpose involves giving in some capacity, it only increases our feelings of joy and fullness in life. We often underestimate the impact we have because we really can be our own worst critics. The rabbit hole of discouragement and the lie of, “I don’t have anything to offer,” is a dark and deep one to go down!
Point #6 about guilt is critically important, Caz. I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiments about how guilt can simply be a red flag that something else is lurking beneath the surface. Just like weeds, we’ve got to identify and get rid of them so we don’t risk losing the beauty of our blooms. The battlefield really is in our minds. Self-defeating behaviors first start with self-defeating thoughts!
Since laugh more and enjoying nature are also on this list — what do ya say we go for a walk out in the park and have a good ol’ belly laugh? π I’ll see you there! Heaven knows we need it.
Awesome suggestions, my friend. I’ve shared, as always, and know that these thoughts will help so many people. I hope YOU are taking your advice and looking after yourself this day. Sending my love in hopes that laughs, joy, rest, and recuperation are your new normal! β₯
I like your alternative take here and I particularly like 1, 8, 9, and 11 from your list. I plan to do more of all of these things this year π