I don’t much like doing ‘me’ updates as I’m sure others must find me pretty boring, but I enjoy hearing how other people are doing so here we go!
I bit the bullet and dyed my hair after a couple of years of no colouring. Goodbye 50 Shades of Ginger. Hello stained forehead and hair that’s visible from a mile radius.
I’m still very self-conscious, even though you probably think : “Bag? What bag?” Going out in the warmer weather takes longer because there aren’t as many cardigans and jumpers for cover. It’s also the bad skin that makes me so self-aware, because nobody wants that when they’re hurtling towards 30. The effects of various invisible illnesses can cause the visible effects of skin conditions. I go most days without any make-up but I use a little concealer when I do, and I admit with any photos I post, all be them quite rare, I tend to lighten them to avoid the obvious spots and black under eye circles.
I‘m still not sleeping well, averaging 2.5hrs each night before I wake up, sort the bag out, then am suddenly wide awake. The moral of the story? Don’t believe everything you see online! There’s make-up, false confidence, filters, and the highlighting of the ‘best bits’ for others to see.
On the days that I struggle to leave the house it’s usually because I feel as though I could use a bucket and trowel to cover the blemishes. On the good days I can say “who cares?!”, because that’s exactly what I’d say to anyone else! Fat rolls, a bag, dark under eye circles, spots, lopsided eyes, an arm growing out of your forehead…who cares?
You’re you, exactly how you’re meant to be. Embrace it. Love it. Care less.
I was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago with fibromyalgia, a condition that affects a lot of people and can have varying levels of impact on lives.
I’ve been taking Hydroxychloroquine for just over 2 months now for undifferentiated connective tissue disease. I can’t say as that I’ve noticed any improvements to anything, but the rheumatologist has suggested I keep an open mind and keep going with it as benefits can take several weeks or even months to be noticeable.
Despite hurtling towards 30, I’ve never been on a proper holiday. I’ve been abroad, when I worked in America for 6 weeks when I was 19 just as my health was going rapidly downhill, so I’ve been on a plane. I’ve just not been on a holiday anywhere nice or had to figure out airport jazz or the ins and outs of booking a trip. My mother hasn’t really been anywhere either and she definitely deserves a break, so that’s been my motivation in getting this sorted. It has caused no end of stress trying to figure it all out, but alas, I’ve done it! A week in Salou, Spain, in early July. I’d like to say I’m looking forward to it, but in all honesty I’m not. Not yet, at least.
There’s been too much stressing and too many things to sort out, and then my worries about travelling with a stoma, wearing a bikini, issues with my weight, and everything else that comes with being an anxiety-ridden stress head like myself. I’m exhausted and struggle with just two hours out of the house, so I’m worried how I’ll manage with a week away; I therefore intend on doing a lot of lying around and a lot of nothing on holiday but upping my Vitamin D levels (being chronically deficient, I do think holidays should be a prescription requirement). I also find I don’t really enjoy things anymore so I’m going to have to make a concerted effort to try to enjoy the build-up to going and start to look forward to it like most ‘normal’ people do!
I had my first physio appointment this week too as the rheumatologist referred me to both physiotherapy and pain management. I didn’t know what to expect and approached the appointment with open mindedness and a healthy dose of scepticism. The lady I saw was lovely and I at least left feeling as though I wasn’t quite so alone anymore. I’ll do a separate post on this soon!
Ever notice something not quite right with your body, but just think you’re either being silly or that it’s nothing serious so it’ll simply go away? I think we all have. Well, I finally saw the GP this week about a swelling that’s only noticeable when I flex my neck muscles and she confirmed it was odd, but wasn’t sure what was causing it. I’ve been given a week’s worth of antibiotics incase it’s some kind of infection, and if those don’t do anything I’ll have to be booked in for a scan of some description. Fingers crossed the antibiotics work because I could do without another health issue right now!
There are a few other things but I don’t want to bore you with those right now. Perhaps next time. For now, thank you for reading that mish-mash of information and I hope you are all well. For those in the UK, enjoy the rare bit of sunshine and warmth! To those that are struggling right now, I want to send you a hug and my very best wishes.