I don’t much like doing ‘me’ updates as I’m sure others must find me pretty boring, but I enjoy hearing how other people are doing so here we go!


I bit the bullet and dyed my hair after a couple of years of no colouring. Goodbye 50 Shades of Ginger. Hello stained forehead and hair that’s visible from a mile radius.

I’m still very self-conscious, even though you probably think : “Bag? What bag?” Going out in the warmer weather takes longer because there aren’t as many cardigans and jumpers for cover. It’s also the bad skin that makes me so self-aware, because nobody wants that when they’re hurtling towards 30. The effects of various invisible illnesses can cause the visible effects of skin conditions. I go most days without any make-up but I use a little concealer when I do, and I admit with any photos I post, all be them quite rare, I tend to lighten them to avoid the obvious spots and black under eye circles.

I‘m still not sleeping well, averaging 2.5hrs each night before I wake up, sort the bag out, then am suddenly wide awake. The moral of the story? Don’t believe everything you see online! There’s make-up, false confidence, filters, and the highlighting of the ‘best bits’ for others to see.

On the days that I struggle to leave the house it’s usually because I feel as though I could use a bucket and trowel to cover the blemishes. On the good days I can say “who cares?!”, because that’s exactly what I’d say to anyone else! Fat rolls, a bag, dark under eye circles, spots, lopsided eyes, an arm growing out of your forehead…who cares?

You’re you, exactly how you’re meant to be. Embrace it. Love it. Care less.


I was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago with fibromyalgia, a condition that affects a lot of people and can have varying levels of impact on lives.

I’ve been taking Hydroxychloroquine for just over 2 months now for undifferentiated connective tissue disease. I can’t say as that I’ve noticed any improvements to anything, but the rheumatologist has suggested I keep an open mind and keep going with it as benefits can take several weeks or even months to be noticeable.


Despite hurtling towards 30, I’ve never been on a proper holiday. I’ve been abroad, when I worked in America for 6 weeks when I was 19 just as my health was going rapidly downhill, so I’ve been on a plane. I’ve just not been on a holiday anywhere nice or had to figure out airport jazz or the ins and outs of booking a trip. My mother hasn’t really been anywhere either and she definitely deserves a break, so that’s been my motivation in getting this sorted. It has caused no end of stress trying to figure it all out, but alas, I’ve done it! A week in Salou, Spain, in early July. I’d like to say I’m looking forward to it, but in all honesty I’m not. Not yet, at least.

There’s been too much stressing and too many things to sort out, and then my worries about travelling with a stoma, wearing a bikini, issues with my weight, and everything else that comes with being an anxiety-ridden stress head like myself. I’m exhausted and struggle with just two hours out of the house, so I’m worried how I’ll manage with a week away; I therefore intend on doing a lot of lying around and a lot of nothing on holiday but upping my Vitamin D levels (being chronically deficient, I do think holidays should be a prescription requirement). I also find I don’t really enjoy things anymore so I’m going to have to make a concerted effort to try to enjoy the build-up to going and start to look forward to it like most ‘normal’ people do!


I had my first physio appointment this week too as the rheumatologist referred me to both physiotherapy and pain management. I didn’t know what to expect and approached the appointment with open mindedness and a healthy dose of scepticism. The lady I saw was lovely and I at least left feeling as though I wasn’t quite so alone anymore. I’ll do a separate post on this soon!


Ever notice something not quite right with your body, but just think you’re either being silly or that it’s nothing serious so it’ll simply go away? I think we all have. Well, I finally saw the GP this week about a swelling that’s only noticeable when I flex my neck muscles and she confirmed it was odd, but wasn’t sure what was causing it. I’ve been given a week’s worth of antibiotics incase it’s some kind of infection, and if those don’t do anything I’ll have to be booked in for a scan of some description. Fingers crossed the antibiotics work because I could do without another health issue right now!


There are a few other things but I don’t want to bore you with those right now. Perhaps next time. For now, thank you for reading that mish-mash of information and I hope you are all well. For those in the UK, enjoy the rare bit of sunshine and warmth! To those that are struggling right now, I want to send you a hug and my very best wishes.

 Caz

47 thoughts on “Mini Me Update”

  1. Your update isn’t the least bit boring, I actually enjoy reading personal posts the most! I think your holiday sounds like a great idea, I get stressed out by travelling with my health too but usually really enjoy myself while I’m there (as long as I remember to take things easy still). A bit of sunshine helps to ease my fatigue a bit too. Your hair colour looks lovely, as do you. I know you feel self conscious but you look great and more importantly you’re a really nice person! I’m sorry you struggle with sleep so much that can’t be easy at all x

    1. I wish you didn’t get stressed out by travelling, but I’m also (selfishly) glad that I’m not the only one. Sunshine definitely makes a difference, so I hope you’re able to enjoy the rare rays and warmth this weekend! Thank you so much for the lovely comment 🙂

  2. Your hair colour looks great! I’m sorry to hear about the things that are happening to you. I’m sure the appointments will help. Wishing you good nights full of sleep and I think it’s admirable that you are blogging about your personal experience and helping others. It is sad to hear that you are dealing with this at such a young age but you can do it!
    P.S. I love your Beauty and the Beast shirt! 🙂

    1. Thank you so much  ♥ The tee was a bargain at about £6 I think from Primark; I loved the film as a child so I was quite happy when the film came out because then lots of merchandise came out too! Hope you have a good weekend Rose.x

  3. Hope everything works out well with your health and that nothing else is going to crop up. If you are like me when it comes to receiving compliments, that you find them hard to believe or accept, I understand as I am like that too, but I want to say you look lovely and your hair colour is fab. I like the top too. I hope the holiday turns out to be enjoyable for you because you deserve it. Thank you for sharing this post and as Natalie mentioned, it is certainly not a boring post.

    1. Yes, compliments are hard to accept. I’m working more on just saying “thank you”, so I’ll say that now for your lovely comment – thank you Liz! x

  4. Ginger is my favorite hair color. My mother was a Lindsay and had red hair, as does my brother. Unfortunately I got my Dad’s hair color gene, “balding brown.” You are not alone and I also live with chronic pain – osteoarthritis in both knees, degenerative back discs, scoliosis and copd. I will keep you in my prayers.

    1. I like ginger, it’s just that when my hair dye faded and grew out (haven’t dyed it for a few years due to being in and out of hospital) my natural colour grew through in various different shades, and I think sunlight added a few extra ‘highlights’ too. The “balding brown” colour gene made me chuckle. I’m sorry you’ve also got to deal with so much pain, and I know I can’t do/say anything to make things any easier but just know that I’m sending you my very best wishes and hope that you get plenty of time to both enjoy the beauty in life and to rest up. Thank you for the comment 🙂

  5. I’ll have to keep your concealer tip in mind – I seem to have permanent “panda eyes” from all the fatigue that built up during term time. Prescription holidays, now there’s a good idea! Like you I have a vitamin D deficiency – ironically I was diagnosed with it after spending an entire summer outdoors – so have to take supplements. Putting your feet up for a week in the sun sounds like a very relaxing idea to me. Enjoy the sunshine this weekend, and hope the antibiotics clear up the swelling on your neck 🙂 PS – I love reading life updates, and for the writer they’re a nice way of looking back on things as the months tick by.

    1. What made them test you for Vit D originally Rosie? You’re right, that’s pretty ironic to be discovered after a summer spent outdoors! I had to take a high dose prescription for a couple of weeks because my levels were apparently almost non-existent; I was mistakenly given two doses of it so I actually OD’d, but I’ll have to get the levels checked again soon as I’ll need to go on regular supplements from now on. Thank you for taking the time to comment and for the best wishes. I hope you’re having a good weekend 🙂

      1. I originally went in because I was feeling consistently tired, and along the way they tested for things like vitamin D and iron deficiencies (I take supplements for both) though they never got to the bottom of why I feel tired a lot of the time, even after a number of scans and tests. It did seem like strange timing for a diagnosis! Gosh that’s a little worrying that they mistakenly gave you a double dose – glad there were no major issues as a result. Thanks, and same to you 🙂

  6. You look great with that hair color! It’s totally oK to do a whole lot of “nothing” on holiday, by the way! I prefer that often! Try not to worry so much about how you look on vacation- i know easier said than done but when I was in greece recently I was all self conscious because we were trying to get out quick in the morning I often did not wash my hair until the night, when we went out and did things/got dolled up, so eventually I just said F IT and threw on a hat and went on my merry way! LOL

    1. That’s made me feel a lot better! Your Santorini pics look stunning, what beautiful beaches! I’ll have to take that ‘fuck it’ approach a little more I think, which will hopefully be easier when I’m away from ‘normal life’ for a few days. Thanks for the comment Shannon 🙂

  7. Woohoo you’ll be off to Spain for a holiday! Try not to stress too much about prepping for it… enjoy your time away 🙂 And the new hair ~ awesome! 🙂

  8. I love reading life updates! However, I’m sorry about your lack of sleep and really hope that your holiday to Spain will help you. It can be nerve wracking travelling, but I hope that everything goes smoothly for you and you enjoy a good rest. I also love your hair 🙂 x

  9. This was not boring! It helps new followers know more about you – which is what I love! To feel a personal connection. Your hair is so lovely – you are so brave – but what a great lift for you.
    I’ve shared some about my chronic pain issues which have finally about disappeared. I’m attributing it to a new diet – what we call here in the US is “heart healthy diet” that is also cancer preventive and seems to cure type II Diabetes and it is healing my husband’s heart! Have you heard the phrase, “food is medicine?” I can’t help but wonder about your diet. Both my husband and I kept putting on weight, just slow, but we both were about to go up another size and just couldn’t stop the weight train…..then we went on this diet and it was painless….in a month, weight just melted off of us. We are now committed to eating this way and the finally weight tally is that he lost 50 and I’ve lost 25. We didn’t look “fat” but we were plump! LOL
    Anyway, my heart aches for you and I just pray there is something positive to come your way for being so open with your invisible illness.
    We have blogged a lot about our diet, etc. I’m not sure if you have seen it as I have two blogs. Here is the page so you can pick what you would like to read if you were interested. As I said, we’ve discovered this cures many ailments. We are doing another post in a day or two about the food is medicine part…http://wp.me/P1BDD7-1Lt

    1. Hey Debbie, thanks for sharing the link, I know I’ve read a few of yours posts but I’ll have to check in particular for food-specific ones and do a little Googling as well for the healthy heart diet. It’s great to hear that a change, such as with diet, can make a positive benefit to your life (and your husband’s). I certainly need to reevaluate my diet and lifestyle in general since everything with my stoma too, as that has its own restrictions and changes. Thank you for the wonderful comment! 🙂
      Caz.x

    1. The positive attitude is certainly difficult to cultivate at times, and I know that others certainly have it far worse than I do. Thank you so much for the lovely comment and well wishes, Steve. I hope you are keeping well 🙂

    1. That’s fantastic, thank you so much for doing that Claire, it’s much appreciated. I’m following and checking out the blog as I type 🙂
      Caz x

  10. You look great! I love the hair color too. You look so young. Sorry about the fibromyalgia diagnosis. I hope you get the best treatment. Something that works for you. You sleep 2.5 hours a night!!! I would be a bear! I’m sorry to hear. Thank you for the updates. Have fun in Spain, and I hope the antibiotics work well for you. Any kind of health issues are the worst. 🙁

    1. Yes, lack of sleep can get pretty painful, and believe me, it makes me a grumpy bear too! Thank you for you kind and lovely words 🙂
      Caz x

  11. That hair color looks so good on you. I love it. I’m sorry to hear about the not sleeping. After having twins, I can put myself in your shoes and no how you must be feeling. Sending you some sleepy dust and sweet dreams.

    1. I imagine twins can steal a good bit of rest, but I’m sure it’s worth it! I hope you manage to get some down time when you can. Thank you for the lovely comment =]

  12. Your hair colour looks incredible! I love the outdoors photo of you 🙂
    I hope you enjoy your trip abroad, it sounds fantastic and I wish you a wonderful holiday!

  13. I think you have a lot to deal with at a very young age and I can totally appreciate that the management of everything is anxiety inducing.
    I find going to the GP incredibly frustrating. They are there to signpost to specialists and yet seem reluctant to do this a lot of the time. I’m always worried and actually get very anxious about my health at times, I don’t feel they are expert enough in so many areas to identify what is going on. I speak from experience but also from having seen friends and family misdiagnosed with tragic consequences. You are absolutely right, we do know when something is up with our bodies better then anyone and I just wish they would listen!

    The hair and holiday sound fab by the way, I hope that once the stress of the journey is behind you that you can relax and enjoy some sunshine and warmth xx

    1. GPs are quite the ‘Jack of all trades, masters of none’ – that’s fine, but they should, as you say, signpost and seek specialist help when necessary, it’s just that it often doesn’t happen as it should. Thank you so much for your comment 🙂
      Caz x

  14. Thank you for being so open and sharing your struggles with us. At least you are not trying to hide them, but managed to face them. I believe that’s the right way! Hope your health improves and you enjoy your holiday. You and your mom deserve it <3

Leave a Reply

Follow

Get the latest posts delivered to your mailbox:

%d bloggers like this: