Apologies for the sudden radio silence. I shared this on social media yesterday and I thought I’d better post it here today. It’s just a small personal update; it’s easier than sending individual messages or worrying that I’m ignoring everyone online.
I can’t believe I’m writing this, but on Wednesday morning I had to take my mum in to A&E. It turns out she’s had a heart attack. She is still undergoing a lot of tests, but an angiogram has found a blockage. They don’t know if it’ll resolve naturally with blood thinners or not.
I can’t see her because the cardiac ward has had a Covid outbreak. Not even with my 3M N95 mask, not even if I buy a hazmat suit (a serious suggestion). The fact she can’t see me, that I can’t hug her, was just too much. I lost my shit. All I could do was take her some things on Wednesday evening, leave them at the door and walk away.
♥
I know she will be okay. She has to be, she will be. To say this is a shock would be an understatement. I’m very close to my mum; she’s the most awesome woman I know, she has always been there for me. I love both my parents dearly. I’m very aware of how lucky I am to have them. But there’s so much emotion about everything in my head right now & there’s this nausea in the pit of my stomach that I can’t get rid.
I don’t pray, but I have yesterday. And today. I’ve begged and pleaded. I can’t get past not being able to see her, the cruelty of her being in there on her own.
I’m grateful for technology to let us FaceTime (a new experience for us both, horrifying us when I held the phone too close to my face ????) and send little messages and pictures.
Update : On Friday, it seems mum is a little more herself but she’s still not able to eat without throwing up. She may be released home to rest and monitor the situation soon, with the possibility for surgical procedures if/when the blood clot in the heart resolves with time and medication. I was more than a little surprised to hear she could be discharged on the weekend. I have some concerns about her coming home too soon just to clear a bed in the ward because the healthcare system is under strain, but as much as I desperately want her here, I want her looked after properly with IV meds available if needed more so.
I probably won’t be around much for the next few days, especially with reading other blogs, but I may pop on social media a little to keep in touch. There’s so much to do, and those with chronic conditions will know all too well what it’s like getting through the smallest, simplest of things, let alone so much that you can’t physically do it all. We can only do what we can do, it has to be enough.
I’m thinking of you all and hoping everyone’s as okay as possible ❤️
Take care of yourselves. Sending my love.
Caz ♥
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46 comments
A lot of hugs to you and your mum. I hope she makes a speedy recovery.
Oh, Caz—All the most positive healing thoughts to your mom and you! Remember to breathe deeply.
????Annie xxx
Prayers for you and you mom.
How awful for you , your mum and the rest of your family especially in the midst of covid. Take care. I mean of yourself as much as your mum. Cate xx
Praying for you. Praying for your Mom.
Sending you lots of prayers and hugs
Sarah x
Sending love and hugs to you Caz and see you around somewhere between here, or Twitter, when you can.
Thinking of you all and wishing your mum for a speedy recovery. X
I hope she’s ok! Hang in there!
❤️❤️❤️
Prayers for your mom, Caz. Big hugs. ♥
Oh, CAZ! I will pray enough for both of you. Like the friends in Luke 5 who brought a sick man to Jesus, I will “carry you” as much as Jesus enables me to keep you and your Mum in my prayers. The reality is none of us gets any guarantees on tomorrow, but your mother will carry your love in her heart every day The God Who Is gives her. Praying as if she was my Mother, c.a.
take care. Thoughts are with you and your Mom.
A lot of hugs to you and your mum. ????????????
Keeping everything crossed for your mum Caz. And sending you hugs too x
Big hugs and prayers coming your way Caz. I am sure your Mum will be ok. Take a breather from being on here and put all your energy into helping your Mum. Thinking of you. Hugs xxxx
Thinking of you and your mum and sending healing blessings.
Sending you a big hug, Caz. My mum had a heart attack and bypass, the rest all had stents. She lived for many years afterwards and I am wishing the same for your mum. K x
I’m so, so sorry this has happened, Caz. I’m sending you and your mum lots of love and hugs. ❤️❤️
Such a shock for you, Caz, and your loved ones.
Sending warm hugs to you all.
xoxoxo
Sending good thoughts!
Sending healing thoughts to your Mom, Caz! <3
I’m so sorry, times like these are so difficult and are very draining, please try and look after yourself… I really hope that your mum will be okay and home soon. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prays
Sending lots of love, hugs and positive thoughts to you, Caz. ????????
Aww so sad to hear this. I’m you’re both going to be able to cope through this and be strong together. Lots of warm, fuzzy thoughts for you both. Appreciate the update, very considerate 🙂
Caz, I’ve been thinking about you and your Mum. Such an awful time for you <3
I hope your Mum gets home soon, but not until she's well enough. Please remember to take care of yourself too.
Sending you love and hugs. You know where I am if you want to chat x
Wishing your Mum a speedy recovery. She’ll be home soon, don’t worry 🙂
I can’t imagine how scared and helpless you must feel! Your mom is definitely in my prayers!
Charlee: “We’re very sorry to hear about your mum! We understand how important she is to you!”
Chaplin: “We Hipsters send lots of purrs for her swift and complete recovery!”
Lulu: “And I send fluffy tail wags!”
I second what the animals said!
Thoughts and, yes, prayers for you and your mom. ????????????
Lots of healing energy coming your way, Caz, for you and your parents. You will get through this, slow and steady xxx
I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope your Mom feels better soon. Sending prayers and healing vibes her way. <3
Keeping you and your mom in my prayers, Sending love and light xo
Praying for you and your mom, Caz!
God loves you both!✝️????
Oh. I hope things are going well. I am about five days late hearing about this. I do pray, so I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
All good thoughts going your way, Caz.
Sending love and good thoughts your way, Caz ???? Thinking of you. I hope that your Mum has a speedy recovery and that you two are back together in your home soon ????????
so sorry, dear Caz — sending you & your mom all my very best — it’s always worrisome whether a loved one is being sent home too early or too late, but with Covid in the mix, all the more so… surely her knowing how much you care is the best medicine for her, hugs or not <3
Thank you for sharing!!.. sorry that you have to deal with this and hope that your Mom is on the mend and will recover soon!!.. she has your love to help her through it and you have your friends with you every step of the way!.. do not worry about being here but should you need to know we are here… “No matter the pain or suffering, it is always better if it’s a burden shared by two, instead of a weight carried by one alone”… (Larry “Dutch” Woller)… 🙂
Take care, return when you and and our thoughts are with you and your Mom… Until we meet again…
May the love that you give
Always return to you,
That family and friends are many
And always remain true,
May your mind only know peace
No suffering or strife,
May your heart only know love and happiness
On your journey through life.
(Larry “Dutch” Woller)
Hi Caz,
I read about this on your IG and didn’t want to overwhelm you with additional comments in an already overwhelming situation. I’m sending all my love and best wishes to your mom for a good recovery and much needed love, support, and spoons to you. We’ll be here whenever you return to blogging. We’re not going anywhere!
Hi Caz,
I’m so sorry to hear about your mum’s heart attack. I know I’m a little late commenting on this post, and I hope by now she is well on her way to recovery and feeling better. Please take your time in returning to blogging. We all love you and your very helpful and informative posts, but we all understand how scary it is when loved ones aren’t doing well. Sending you and your mum lots and lots of love. Take care.
I’m so sorry to hear this, dear Caz. And I certainly know how you feel.
Pray, sing, keep silent, do whatever makes you feel somewhat better or closer to her.
She WILL be ok. She HAS to.
Sending lots of virtual hugs to your family.
I do Hope Your Mum Recovers well. Sending Many Blessings of Loving Thoughts and Healing Energies Your Way <3 <3 <3
I just did a post of "Being Strong" https://iammypath.com/2022/03/01/therapy-being-strong/ I Hope this will Give You Strength also <3 <3 <3
Hope your Mom is fully healed and whole now!
Sending healing energy to your Mum! I hope she is doing well!
Me and Daisy are sending you oodles of love Xxxx