Mini Rant : Op’s On, Op’s Off. EUA Postponed.

A red and white diagonal stripe background. In the middle is a white circle with the words "Argghh! Mini Rant" relating to the EUA cancellation, and, along with a red angry cartoon face.

As I write this, picture an angry face. Also picture someone who’s confused as to whether this blog title makes any sense; I was thinking of “wax on/wax off” Karate Kid style as I wrote it. I think I need more sleep. You guessed it: all the stress and preparation has been for nothing as the EUA is off again.

EUA Surgery

I was told last week I’d be having my next surgery, at UCLH in London, on Friday 23rd August. It has meant a lot of stressing trying to get everything in place. I’d written a ‘ta ta for now’ blog post.

It’s been a pain in the bum trying to organise the pre-op, which I’d hoped to do locally rather than attempt two long trips to London in the same week. Apparently, a hospital in London can’t access my GP records, and nor can my GP email them through without messing it up. I thought the NHS spent billions on a ‘linked up’ system? Clearly it doesn’t work.

I’ve called and emailed to get results and get surgery updates and it’s been like talking to myself. Emails don’t get returned & phones don’t get answered.

I’ve been trying to get my ducks in a row at home, which has worn me down. I had organised transport there, with a 2am bus. I packed my toothbrush and made a note to take a walking stick as crowd control for the way home, to kneecap people who try to push into me as I veer for the tube & train after surgery.

I’ve also increasingly been finding that staying on top of other blogs has been very difficult. I can spend hours every day trying to read, like and comment, and yet I never quite catch up. I’ve been falling behind on my own blog, and getting nowhere in other things away from my laptop either. I’m still not sure how to resolve this, because I genuinely care about how other bloggers are doing & want to support them/you all; I feel anxious & guilty if I don’t, but it’s becoming unmanageable. Anyone else experience similar?

A cartoon of a person by a laptop looking angry, with a cup of tea and some notes by the side.

Uh-Oh, EUA No Go

And then what happens? I just get a call to say the surgery has been cancelled & rearranged for a few weeks’ time. Not enough staff to run the theatre apparently. Something about not having an anaesthetist. I said I’ll have it done wide awake, just please don’t cancel it!

It was originally supposed to be April 15th, then in June, then August 23rd, and now September 10. Maybe it’ll be 4th time lucky?

I’m still very lucky. This was a small investigative procedure, it wasn’t an urgent requirement, and I hadn’t pre-booked expensive travel or accommodation. Also, in trying to find a silver lining, I hear the UK could expect some sunshine over this bank holiday weekend, which is a miracle in itself.

Yes, there are bigger problems in the world and more important things to get stressed about. But it’s okay to find yourself annoyed, frustrated or upset when things go pear-shaped.

Lessons Learned

An angry face emoji.

The moral of the story? As much as you plan, stress, prepare and desperately try to catch up, there will always be things out of your control that can mess everything up. Prepare to be unprepared! Second moral of the story? The NHS is amazing, but it can sometimes be as useful as a paperclip for eating ice-cream, and about as reliable as the British weather.

Rant over 😉

How is everyone today? Have you found yourself with the rug pulled form under you when an appointment or operation has been cancelled? Thank you also for the lovely birthday messages recently, I appreciate every single comment. I hope this week is treating you all kindly 😊

Caz  ♥



  1. August 21, 2019 / 3:18 pm

    Well, Caz, it sounds like you definitely deserve to have a rant! It’s understandable that sometimes things have to be rescheduled, but 4 times? I sure hope the 4th time is the charm. There’s just no good excuse for them not getting back to you when you’ve called/emailed though….. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with all that.

    As far as trying to catch up and stay caught up, I feel your pain. I always feel like I’m chasing my tail. I truly love checking in on everyone and seeing how they’re doing, but it’s so easy to get behind. Once I’m behind it seems like I never quite manage to catch up. I would say just do what you can, and don’t let it stress you out. Most of us are probably in the very same boat, and we understand.

    I hope you have some lovely weather and that you’re able to get out and enjoy it. Sending love and hugs!

    • August 22, 2019 / 3:02 pm

      I felt so guilty after publishing the post, thinking of how much negativity and ranting it was full of! While I’m sorry you’ve found the same with keeping up with other blog posts, it’s also a little more reassuring that I’m not losing the plot. It does seem to be a mammoth task when you’re forever falling behind. Thank you, Terri  ♥

  2. Ashley
    August 21, 2019 / 3:24 pm

    Argh, that’s so frustrating!

    • August 22, 2019 / 3:03 pm

      I imagine reading my ridiculous rant is equally frustrating 😂

  3. August 21, 2019 / 3:29 pm

    Caz, I do understand your frustration, but please don’t stress out if this can be taken care of at a later date. I am telling you this because my husband had a heart attack last week. He has been released from the hospital but stressed caused it…So please take care of yourself. It doesn’t matter if you are behind so am I but we will be back!! Love ya…huge hugs Sophie

    • August 22, 2019 / 3:05 pm

      I am so, so sorry about your husband, Sophie. I dropped you a quick email yesterday (via your blog’s contact page). Thank you for the lovely comment, I just hope hubby is doing okay, and that you are, too. Sending lots of love to you both 🌷

  4. August 21, 2019 / 3:37 pm

    I don’t think I’d care for your medical care. To be reschedule that many times. Yikes. What if it was very serious or life threatening? Okay, I’m doing my own rant here. I hope you get this resolved and soon.

    Have a fabulous day, my friend. ♥

    • August 22, 2019 / 3:06 pm

      Those who are waiting on something more urgent really do have an awful time of things if/when operations get cancelled. Thank you, Sandee – I hope you have a good end to your week! xx

  5. August 21, 2019 / 3:37 pm

    I totally heard Karate Kid “wax on/wax off” when I read the title.

    Sorry they keep cancelling – how frustrating to have it repeatedly put off. Hoping 4th times the charm, and you get to enjoy some sunny holiday weather!

    • August 22, 2019 / 3:09 pm

      Hurrah, sometimes things just sound right in your own head and nobody else has a clue what you’re talking about, so I’m glad you got it 😂 Thanks, Linds! I hope you’re having a decent week so far lovely xx

  6. August 21, 2019 / 4:03 pm

    Is that how most medical works there? Or a one-offer? I’d go nuts.

    • August 22, 2019 / 3:12 pm

      Sadly cancellations of appointments and surgeries are quite a regular occurance…

  7. August 21, 2019 / 4:14 pm

    I feel your frustration. There are only so many times you can put your life on hold. Don’t worry about visiting other blogs. I am sure everyone understands.

    • August 22, 2019 / 3:14 pm

      I feel guilty going on a rant as soon as I published this post, I think it just all got to me a bit. Thanks, Anne! Not sure why I’m losing my marbles over trying to keep up with other blogs, but I know I need to do something about it. I hope you’re having a good week so far – I enjoyed reading about your Oxford trip! 😊

  8. August 21, 2019 / 4:32 pm

    I’m sorry it got cancelled and I hope they stick to the new appointment! In terms of blogging, I’ve felt the exact same lately, I’m still trying to find out a way to ease it all but to no avail…I’m always here if you need to talk or rant or vent 💚

    • August 22, 2019 / 3:18 pm

      I’m sorry you’re in a similar situation with keeping up with other blogs, but at the same time I feel less alone and like I’m losing my marbles! It’s a tough one, isn’t it? Do you feel guilty and anxious if you don’t keep up, like with going through the WP reader every day? I would say maybe limit it to a certain number of times you check it per week, but if you’re like I am then you can’t leave any post unseen 😂 Thanks lovely, likewise as I’m always around to listen or chat, so feel free to rant away! Maybe we can eventually come up with a solution to the blog-reading-commenting conundrum! xx

  9. August 21, 2019 / 5:21 pm

    Well needed rant. Be sure to do so anytime. If it helps its worth it. You are so organized that it has to be frustrating when the “professionals ” can’t seem to stick to the schedules they make. As for blogging, I don’t have the high number of followers that you have and I find it difficult to keep up with the few I do have. Multiply the number of blogs you follow times 2.5 posts each day by the people you want to support. That’s all I have to say on the issue because this is your rant/release. I’m just saying…I understand. Your plans for the procedure are good. I’m not too sure about a bus or train to get home afterward. I do like the walking stick for crowd control. That’s a plus++
    Take a breath and smile, because we support YOU as well Caz. 🤡

    • August 22, 2019 / 3:46 pm

      I felt really guilty the second I published this post, I don’t think I’ve done one this negative and full of ranting before! You’re right though, we all need to rant sometimes and it’s healthier to get it out. Thank you so much for the thoughts on the blog side of things too, I really appreciate it! You speak a lot of wisdom, Darnell, and you’re a wonderful friend in the blogosphere. Thank you! I hope you have a good end to your week – keep being awesome! 😊

  10. August 21, 2019 / 5:23 pm

    You have every right to rant! Thank goodness you didn’t book those tickets! Geez, why can’t they get their act together??
    Hopefully you will get the news you want❤️

    • August 22, 2019 / 3:59 pm

      I do feel bad for ranting, but sometimes it does take much to tip you over a little! Thanks lovely, it’s much appreciated! I hope the week is treating you well so far 😊 xx

  11. August 21, 2019 / 5:52 pm

    Yes, I definitely agree with the battle to stay on top of reading other blogs and still get some writing done. I haven’t written anything new for ages and I’ve now run out of posts I have in hand for my own blog.
    But, more importantly (and real life is still more important than the online kind) I sympathise with your cancelled op. My husband’s coronary bypass was cancelled last November the afternoon before the op because Papworth had no intensive care beds free. By this time he’d come off all the medication he was supposed to come off before the op and was barely making it up to the bedroom at night. I seriously worried whether he’d make it to the rescheduled op – which turned out to be almost a month later.
    You must be wondering if you’re ever going to get yours if it’s been cancelled so often. I admire your forebearance

    • August 22, 2019 / 4:54 pm

      I’m sorry you’ve been feeling the same with the overwhelm on the blog front. I’m glad I’m not alone in the issue around reading other blogs though, as I started wondering if I was just losing my marbles. I’m not too sure what the solution is; if you don’t keep up on other blogs, do you feel anxious and guilty? It does sound like you could do with easing off a little, too, and then dedicating a little time to your own blog when you can, but without putting too much pressure on yourself. Perhaps asking other bloggers if they’d like to guest post could help in future, so you have an extra post here and there?

      I’m so sorry with your husband having his surgery cancelled; that’s a big, urgent operation to have postponed at the last minute, and it seems so ridiculous when the excuse/reason is lack of beds. I’m lucky in the sense that mine was not urgent, but your poor husband? That’s a different story, and a whole month for it being rescheduled..? That’s bloody awful. How’s he doing lately? Thank you for the comment, it’s very much appreciated. I hope the rest of the week treats you kindly  ♥

  12. August 21, 2019 / 6:05 pm

    What a terribly frustrating ordeal, being put off so many times on something that will be so difficult to manage, but is obviously necessary. So sorry you’re having to wait again and keep dealing with the anxiety of a pending procedure. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that they manage to do it somewhat more conveniently for you and that it works out better in the end. Xx

    • August 22, 2019 / 4:58 pm

      Thank you, Michelle, I really appreciate that. I feel awful having that rant the second I published it 😂 Sometimes it doesn’t take much to send you over the edge a little and get frustrated! I think it’s just been weighing on me and I’d hoped to get it out of the way. I hope you manage to have a restful end to your week, you certainly need it lovely  ♥ xx

  13. August 21, 2019 / 6:20 pm

    Oh Caz, I am so sorry. You built yourself up mentally for going in, you worked hard physically to get everything organised, then they cancelled. You are right to rant.

    Now, please, sit down, slow down and just breathe. Chronic illness bloggers all want to support each other. We all want to read, comment and share other’s blogs, but we just can’t. We don’t have the energy. We run out of steam. You need to step back occasionally and recharge. Nobody will mind. Take care of yourself first 💜

    • August 23, 2019 / 12:02 pm

      You’re right, and actually I don’t know why I haven’t looked at it like that before – there are plenty of things I, and most of us, want to do but physically can’t manage, yet I don’t count blogging & keeping up with other blogs in that. I felt so guilty the moment I posted this but it’s heartening that I’m not losing my marbles, so thank you, Liz. Your kindness means a lot  ♥ xx

  14. August 21, 2019 / 7:02 pm

    This sucks. But don’t worry about us, we understand you, and we are not going anywhere! Keep us posted! xx

    • August 23, 2019 / 12:03 pm

      Thanks, Viola 🌷 I hope you’re doing as well as possible and that you have a restful weekend ahead! xx

  15. August 21, 2019 / 7:23 pm

    Well I understand your frustration, but stressing over it doesn’t help your health. When frustrating things happen that can stress me out, I have a choice and one of the things that I do is just sit down, stop myself for a few minutes, calm myself, and I remind myself that – it is what it is – I cannot change it, so just deal with it, let go of it, and move on.

    I also feel like you and although I genuinely care about other bloggers and want to support them, I just don’t have enough time in the day, and I don’t know what to do to change that either, I think I need to clone myself LOL

    Have a beautiful day Caz <3

    • August 23, 2019 / 1:41 pm

      You’re right about how stressing doesn’t help, sometimes it’s good to get a reminder and step back from the situation. Also an excellent idea about cloning ourselves to deal with the mass of blog posts, I don’t know why I didn’t think of that before 😂 Thanks Masha, I hope you have yourself a restful weekend lovely.xx

  16. Marilyn Long
    August 21, 2019 / 9:26 pm

    Hi Caz, As I used to say to the students I mentored, Don’t let the buggers get you down! I agree the NHS is fantastic most of the time, but individuals can really screw things up. I had appointment issues that led me to a formal complaint against the local Health Authority. A meeting was set up with myself and three ‘big wigs’ at which I ran rings around them with the facts. So my message is – hang on in there, know you’re better than the system, and that you’ll be able to look back and not give a flying f***!!
    Now I’ve moved to North Wales hospitals are relatively close, and certainly a lot easier to get to than when I lived in Essex.
    I’m rooting for you and wishing you a positive outcome in the very near future. Waiting sucks. Uncertainty sucks big time.
    And don’t even think about responding. Well, a ‘X’ if you want just so I know I haven’t offended. Wishing you positive energy and sending love, XX

    • August 23, 2019 / 1:43 pm

      My mother’s fond of that expression, too! I’m sorry you had such frustrations that led you to the point of needing to do an official complaint, but I’m glad you kicked ass with it and stood up for yourself! I really do hope things are better all round in terms of healthcare and access to hospitals now that you’re in N.Wales. Do you find any difference in the care you receive? And you have not offended at all, very much the opposite. Thank you so much for the wonderful comment, it’s very much appreciated! I hope you have a good weekend ahead, and thank you again  ♥ xx

  17. August 21, 2019 / 10:11 pm

    How frustrating. Hope September really happens.

    • August 23, 2019 / 1:44 pm

      Me too, thanks Peggy. I hope you’re keeping as well as possible and enjoying your adventures! 😊 xx

  18. August 21, 2019 / 11:30 pm

    Booooooooooooo! Thinking happy thoughts for you that it happens soon.

    • August 23, 2019 / 1:45 pm

      I might have to try shouting ‘booooo’ as loudly as possible sometimes to vent a little frustration! 😂 Thanks lovely – I hope you have a good weekend! xx

  19. August 21, 2019 / 11:44 pm

    So sorry to hear your surgery was postponed. That has to be hard. And I know what you mean about getting behind in visiting blogs. I’m so behind too. When I get stressed out I do yoga and I connect with nature. Life can be so stressing sometimes but it helps to get it out of your system like you’re doing now and then practice whatever gives you peace and balance. Everything will get done in the end so try and go with the flow. I hope you had a nice birthday too 🙂

    • August 23, 2019 / 1:46 pm

      I’m sorry you find yourself on that constant cycle with other blogs, too. It’s heartening that we’re not alone in feeling like that because I was starting to think I was losing my marbles. I do need some time away from my laptop I think, and I’ll have to take a leaf out of your book with getting outside a bit and also doing yoga (my poor yoga mat has sat unloved and collecting dust). Thank you for the lovely comment. I hope you have a peaceful weekend, Michele  ♥ xx

  20. August 22, 2019 / 2:04 am

    Sounds like a crummy chain of events. I feel like I’m drowning in it a lot as well and am horrible with keeping up with other bloggers. As Dory from Finding Nemo says, “just keep swimming!” Thanks for the read!

    • August 23, 2019 / 1:47 pm

      I’m a BIG fan of that quote! I think I’ve done a blog post centred around it before… if not, then I need to. Thank you for the great comment – I hope you have a lovely weekend ahead 😊 x

  21. MamaDuck
    August 22, 2019 / 2:05 am

    Precious girl you are courageous to share these frustrations on your blog. First priority is always your health! That might mean freeing up your time by not visiting all our blogs and that is perfectly fine💕. We will still be reading your posts.
    I wish I could give you a ride back and forth to your surgery! I can’t imagine you post-surgery on a train, pushing crowds away with a walking stick😣. I hope you get scheduled soon. God bless you for still trying your best to focus on the positive🙏🏻 .

    • August 23, 2019 / 1:49 pm

      I felt really guilty the second I published this post, so it’s a comfort to read your kind comment. Thank you so much, it means a lot to me. I hope you’re keeping well & that you have a lovely weekend ahead  ♥ xx

  22. August 22, 2019 / 2:53 am

    Caz, I totally understand, I feel like I always have a million things to do on my own blog, sometimes fall behind and don’t get to comment and love what others are blogging about. Sometimes you just gotta take a step back. You can’t always be there for everyone all the time. I think you’re a great fellow blogger to know. It sucks that you are having such a difficult time with your doctor appointments and it seems like it’s all just overwhelming you all at once. Don’t worry, we’ll still be here. Take care of #1 first.

    • August 23, 2019 / 2:22 pm

      You’re right, you can only do what you can do – I hope you remember your own wise words of wisdom when you’re next feeling overwhelmed too, Alice! Thank you for such a great comment, it’s very much appreciated. I hope you have a lovely weekend 😊

    • August 23, 2019 / 2:22 pm

      Hanging in, and pulling myself back up 😉 Thanks! I hope you’re keeping as well as possible this week.

  23. August 22, 2019 / 9:42 am

    So frustrating for you, Caz. Fingers crossed that the next date goes ahead and you can put this behind you.

    • August 23, 2019 / 2:24 pm

      I think things have just been getting a little on top of me lately..sometimes it doesn’t take much to be that ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’! Thanks, Sandra – I hope you have a lovely weekend 😊

  24. August 22, 2019 / 9:59 am

    You have a total right to rant and how frustrating with cancelling of your op and the upheaval of it, because of the planning required to get there too, with it not being local.
    I imagined Karate Kid too when first seeing your title of the post.

    With the months I have been having and the stresses caused which came to a very recent decision made, that I blogged about, I am starry to struggle with the following if blogs. I am also taking a step back with how often I post. (Trying to.)
    I would like to join in with my usual prompts I do elsewhere, but devoting time and energy to it, I sadly can’t do.
    I know my life is being reflected slightly to my mood. But that’s where I am concentrating on, to try and not let it slip further. It’s very early stages, so not going to be hard on myself.

    • August 23, 2019 / 2:34 pm

      Hurrah, glad you felt that Karate Kid vibe and it wasn’t just in my own head! You’ve definitely had a lot on and the emotional toll is unsurprising. I think it’s a good idea to reassess where your focus needs to be and cut back where you can because your mental and physical health are the priorities. Definitely be kinder to yourself, because we can be our own worst enemies sometimes. Hang in there, Liz. Sending hugs  ♥ xx

  25. August 22, 2019 / 10:02 am

    I sympathize with your frustration. I’d love to have healthcare that paid for my Lyme treatments ($12K so far). I was sick then housebound for decades until I inherited some money. I experienced more frustration than you can imagine. Just recently I needed treatment for an arthritic knee. Not covered by insurance, the PRP injection cost $700. Thanks for letting me rant too.

    • August 23, 2019 / 2:49 pm

      That is absolutely awful, Sherry, I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through all of that. That level of financial stress is definitely not needed on top of everything else. In the UK, we’re very lucky with the NHS, though we do pay through higher taxes on pretty much everything and a lot of the time many people have to go the private route (as I’ve had to do myself too) because consultations, treatments and surgeries aren’t offered. I do hope the future is a little smoother for you and that your insurance can cover more of your bills in future. xx

  26. August 22, 2019 / 1:24 pm

    Sorry to hear your op has been cancelled again. So much can go into planning a hospital stay for the patient as well, so I understand your stresses and ranting. Let’s hope they’re right about the sunny weekend and you can enjoy the bank holiday.
    Fingers crossed for the next date!

    • August 23, 2019 / 2:55 pm

      The sunshine this weekend will be the golden yellow lining to this rant! I feel awful I posted this as I try not to be too negative or ranty, but sometimes things can just get on top of you. Thanks Gemma, I hope you’re keeping as well as possible. Any afternoon tea planned for the bank holiday? It’d be rude not to celebrate with cake 😉 xx

  27. August 22, 2019 / 3:36 pm

    Oh! Man!!! Caz, I have missed many of your posts. I DO apologize. I often wonder how others are doing and this makes me frantic! I’ve had to let this go a bit. The ‘apology’ tour needs to end. How frustrating that this procedure has been to schedule! Um, if they do not have enough people to safely perform the procedure… waiting is good. It’s like the time a flight I was on was delayed… they needed to change a tire! I sat right down and told the other complaining passengers I was more than happy to wait! I’d like to fly with tires that would allow us to take off and land the ‘normal’ way! THis is your flight, this surgical procedure. Depart and return safely! x

    • August 23, 2019 / 3:08 pm

      Ugh, Kim, you’re feeling similar then on the wonder-how-everyone-is front and it’s pretty anxiety-ridden, isn’t it? I think you’re doing well if you can step back a little. I love that last part – I will make sure to depart and return safely! 😉 Thank you lovely. I hope you have a restful weekend after so much manic activity you’ve been dealing with for the house/RV transition! xx

  28. August 22, 2019 / 7:39 pm

    Well, it’s not a perfect likeness (that image you began with), but it clearly conveys your justifiable outrage. How terribly frustrating it must be for you to have to put up with all this bureaucratic nonsense.
    But as others have said, please don’t waste an iota of energy stressing about your blogging responsibilities in either direction. We’ll be here when your current pressures subside. (And I’m especially grateful for your visits now that I know your time constraints.)

    Above all, be kind to yourself. I am wearing a T-shirt that says “Breathe In” on the front and “Breathe Out” on the back. You know what you need to do to relieve your stress—you’ve even reminded us recently. I watched a video yesterday (which is no longer available, unfortunately), in which Peter Levine, PhD, offers approaches for trauma victims that I felt were useful for anyone dealing with life’s stressors. You may want to look him up online; some of his techniques may be helpful.
    There’s a large caring community accompanying you through all this, Caz. You’ve got this under control and will move on to happier times.
    PS: I’m not sure why, but WP refuses to recognize me as a subscriber and insists I fill in info each time. So be it.

    All good wishes,

    • August 23, 2019 / 3:12 pm

      You are incredibly kind to leave such a thoughtful comment, thank you Annie! I think things were just getting on top of me a little, and I felt guilty the second I posted such a ranty, negative post. I LOVE the sound of that t-shirt, how brilliant! And thank you for the Levine tip; I hadn’t heard of him before so I’ll ask Mr Google about him now as I’m always interested to learn more about other approaches and techniques. As for the WordPress issue, I’m sorry you’re having to write out your information each time, how frustrating! I’m not really sure what to suggest; I know on most blogs I have to write out my information each time, unless there’s a box you can tick to ‘remember me’. Is there one of those when you post? If not, I’ll see if there’s a widget for it 😉
      Thank you again, Annie, it means a lot. I hope you have a relaxing weekend ahead xx

      • August 23, 2019 / 10:08 pm

        WP helped me solve the sign on issue by changing the privacy notification on safari, the browser on my iPhone. But that doesn’t help me here. However, you may find it works on other sites.

        And lose the guilt, Caz! Easier said than done, I know, but baggage you simply do not need.

  29. August 22, 2019 / 9:06 pm

    oh so sorry to hear that , hope that all works out fine and as you say 4th time lucky! I can totally understand the part of not being on top of reading others blogs as I’m pretty much in that kind of situation ,Good luck with everything!

    • August 23, 2019 / 3:16 pm

      Thanks, Nisha! I’m sorry you’re getting to be in a similar situation on the blog side of things, it’s a tricky one, isn’t it? I hope you can take a step back and not get overwhelmed with it. Have a lovely weekend ahead xx

  30. August 22, 2019 / 9:37 pm

    Oh, Caz, you are so allowed to have a rant and to feel extremely pissed off that your surgery has been cancelled. It isn’t just the physical time and effort that goes into readying ourselves for an admission, but also the psychological and emotional toil. As for carrying a walking stick when you come out…..let me come a nd beat a way for you to the tube and train! I think that you know I have struggled recently to write my blog and to keep up with other bloggers, but just look at the number of lovely comments you have here to know how much people value your never ending supportand encouragement. We all love and admire you!! When you do come to London, if you need somewhere to stay just shout (we are 30 min train ride from Waterloo & Victoria), Claire x

    • August 23, 2019 / 3:22 pm

      You’ve got that spot on with how it’s not just the physical stuff with preparing to do something, it’s the mental and emotional side of things, too. I think the issues around the travelling were getting to me far more than the op itself, which I’m lucky with because it’s ‘only’ a lap, and not the bigger surgery that should come later. This definitely is a wonderful community and I’m very lucky to have been able to ‘meet’ so many amazing people, which is another reason why I feel so guilty posting such a negative, ranty post (there it goes again, getting on the guilt train!) Thank you for being so kind and thoughtful – I don’t think I realised you were in the London area. I’d love for you to come and help me beat everyone off with a stick 😉 Thanks again, and I hope that you’re healing a little and managing plenty of rest, with any luck with a little less pain too.  ♥ xx

  31. Wendy
    August 23, 2019 / 12:45 am

    Hello Caz. I’m so sorry that you’re having to deal with so much bull crap! I feel angry at the medical staff, just hearing about their unprofessional and uncaring behavior towards you.

    It’s no wonder that you’re ready to explode-it’s actually beyond justified in my mind.

    • August 23, 2019 / 3:38 pm

      It’s a shame that the medical system seems to make things far harder for patients than it needs to be, and that’s the last any of us need when dealing with whatever else we’re dealing with. Thank you, Wendy. How are you doing at the moment? You’ve been through such a shitty time with your computer being hacked, I just hope that side of things is sorted as well as it can be.. Sending hugs xx

  32. August 23, 2019 / 1:04 am

    Ugh, I can imagine your frustration and stress over this. If it’s any conciliation at all, though, September 10th just so happens to be The Bigly Bestest Doggie’s birthday. So things are going to have to work out well for you that day, because it will be a good day. Not that surgery is ever fun, clearly, but you will be able to get your procedure done and not have to keep stressing and rearranging your plans. We’ll be sending lots of positive vibes your way. <3

    • August 23, 2019 / 3:39 pm

      Oooo Sept 10th will be a lucky date then! Thank you lovely. What’s Bigly Bestest Doggie hoping to get for his special day this year?xx

  33. August 23, 2019 / 1:23 pm

    I’m so sorry this has happened to you, and that the surgery you were supposed to get in April is being postponed again! I’d rant, too. There really is no excuse for that, in my opinion.
    But you’re right, so often the things we stress and worry about don’t even happen, which leaves us wondering why we were so upset in the first place.
    I also get behind in keeping up with the many blogs I read, but I have found that it’s not the end of the world if miss a few. Personally, my own “stats” go up and down, and I just figure when they’re down that the people who read my blog are busy or away from their computers, and I don’t worry about it. I’d bet the bloggers you follow feel the same way! Just read and comment on the ones you can, when you can, and let that be good enough! Blogging should be enriching, not stressful, in my opinion.

    • August 23, 2019 / 3:55 pm

      I do feel like it happens a lot, getting stressed over something that then doesn’t happen anyway, I really should learn by now! 😂I’m glad you don’t let the reading-other-blogs-anxiety get to you, it’s not worth having it become so overwhelming and I know I need to do something about it. You’re right, we should just do what we can and let that be good enough. Thank you for such a wonderful comment, it’s very much appreciated! I hope you have a restful weekend lovely xx

  34. August 23, 2019 / 4:31 pm

    Your rant is not ridiculous. People care and want to hear how you’re doing. Which doesn’t just mean the hunky dory. Sorry, shouldn’t sound so strong. You were just apologising to almost everyone for ranting, when first, you’re entitled to write whatever you want, second, this is you blog and space, third, people care and want to know how you are, fourth, it wasn’t a rant, fifth, if it was/is a rant what are my posts?
    It’s really frustrating when appointments are pushed off constantly. Yes, that’s the NHS. Like taking off work and wasting the taking off work for you could’ve come later. Or appointments changed so many times you forget about the last one that actually happens for you know it’ll be changed so need to get referred again. I hope the fourth time actually does happen and is helpful.
    Yay for sunshine! It’s sunny outside here today 🙂 Which is nice. I hope you get some peace and rest over the weekend.
    Re other blogs, yup. I’m not keeping up at all at the moment. I’ve missed so many posts. I’m not keeping up with the comments on my own blog either. Sometimes I am, sometimes I’m not. Do I feel guilty and anxious about it (as you’ve asked nearly everyone who said this)? Not really, no. For some of it, yes. Like I’m sad that I didn’t see your post when you wrote it. I wish I could’ve responded immediately. I care about posts that I want to be there for when I’m not. I’m sad about it, for I wish I could be there. I don’t feel guilty much. Sometimes more, sometimes less. It’s also an on/off. For sometimes I’m on top of it all and sometimes I’m really not. Sometimes I’m not being in reader or comments. Sometimes I am. Depends on the time I have to devote to it. And I just see it as life. It really depends on my headspace. As I said, I’m sad when I’m not there for someone and would hope that they’d feel free to reach out to me (though I get behind on my emails too often enough), and I care a lot, but I just see it as life. I think everyone knows that sometimes you’ll be there, sometimes you won’t and they won’t be judging you. For everyone has times when they’re there and times when they aren’t. And people know who actually cares and who doesn’t. And if anything, rather than be upset that you aren’t there, they’d worry about you.
    Sending lotsa peace, serenity and sunshine your way, for I don’t have to create the sunshine as the sun is shining…
    Love, light and glitter Caz. You’re awesome gal! At least I think so.

    • August 24, 2019 / 9:49 am

      I felt really guilty the second I published this post, it’s the most negative & ranty I’ve been on my blog I think. But you’re right, our blogs are our space and we should feel free to do as we wish. Plus, a little rant is good for the soul! I’m sorry you’re finding the same with keeping up with other blogs, then falling behind on your own. It does sound like you’re quite like me with then feeling bad if you don’t get to read posts, or comment late, that kind of thing. You’ve made a really good point with how ‘that’s life’, and we probably shouldn’t be tying ourselves up in knots about it. Great perspective, Eliza. And thank you so much for such a great comment, which must have taken you quite a while to write – it means a lot, thank you!  ♥ I hope you can enjoy a little sunshine this weekend lovely xx

      • August 29, 2019 / 9:06 pm

        I replied to this and I’m not sure why I can’t see my reply or what I even wrote any longer.
        Thinking of you.
        Thank you!

  35. August 23, 2019 / 9:52 pm

    Like, C’est La Vie, Caz. I totally get ya!

    This happens to me everyday of my life unless I stay in bed, and hide under the covers… well, then it still happens… ya, still.

    I like it when you rant cuz it’s no good to keep it bottled up inside, ya know? So, rant whenever ya want… I will, too. Some say that I do a pretty good job of it, in fact. I just get all humble-like, n’ blush, n’ say “it twasn’t that hard”.

    Keep on keepin’ on, Caz, cuz You Rock, Girl!

    Hugz n’ Love,


    • August 24, 2019 / 9:04 am

      C’est La Vie, a good one to remember! I felt awful after that rant, I think that’s the most negative & ranty I’ve been on my blog. But you’re right, doesn’t do you much good keeping it all in, either. Hahah you’re so modest, just admit it, Tamara, you’re a damn good ranter! I’m a good complainer, I get a lot of practice 😉 Thanks for the awesome comment, it’s very much appreciated! Hope you have a good weekend lovely xx

  36. August 24, 2019 / 2:21 pm

    Sheesh, Caz, that sounds awful. I’m so sorry they canceled your operation. Not cool. In other things, don’t be hard on yourself about trying to keep up with blogs and stuff. We understand, and we’ll still be here when you’re back in the swing of things. 🙂 <3

    • August 24, 2019 / 2:49 pm

      I think things just got on top of me when I wrote this, I feel bad for being so negative and ranty 😂Thanks for the sweet comment, I hope you have a good weekend lovely! xx

  37. August 24, 2019 / 4:04 pm

    Oh no, sorry to hear this. You don’t just do the practical things, it’s the emotional stuff as well – getting your hopes up and getting yourself prepared mentally, and then that happens. I do hope it will all work out in September and that you can enjoy the good weather for now. I also like your crowd control device – my white cane gets used in a similar way from time to time when random members of the public have no manners. Take care, and try not to stress about other blogs. I’m always happy to get your comments, but would hate to think of you pushing yourself too hard or feeling guilty about getiing round to reading and commenting. X

    • August 24, 2019 / 5:57 pm

      Absolutely, there’s definitely an emotional impact, too. I bet you’re a force to be reckoned with when you’re out with your cane, use it 😉Thank you so much for the lovely comment, it’s very much appreciated. I hope you’re getting enough rest, you’ve had a heck on your plate lately. Sending lots of hugs your way, and I hope you have an enjoyable Bank Hol weekend  ♥ xx

  38. August 25, 2019 / 9:16 am

    Sorry your surgery was cancelled again, that’s so frustrating 🙁 I know I have to psych myself up for anything hospital related, and can’t imagine how I’d feel if anything got cancelled. Luckily things run pretty efficiently at our local hospital, although the GP surgeries can be a nightmare!
    Take however long you need and don’t pressure yourself too much about catching up. Enjoy the sunshine whilst we have it 🙂 (And hopefully 4th times the charm!)

    • August 26, 2019 / 8:11 am

      You’re right about the whole psyching yourself up part. I’m lucky that it wasn’t an urgent op but it’s still frustrating. Thanks lovely! I hope you & Merlin are doing well and having a lovely bank holiday weekend!! 😊 xx

      • August 26, 2019 / 8:23 am

        We are thanks 🙂 We had him neutered on Friday but you wouldn’t think he’d had an op: He’s been bouncing off the walls despite it, and the heat! xx

        • August 26, 2019 / 8:25 am

          Aww poor little guy, but what a trooper. It’s good that he’s literally bouncing back from it! Doesn’t he get lethargic in the heat? My cat seems to be on slow-mo 😂

          • August 26, 2019 / 8:40 am

            Yeah I was surprised, when we picked him up from the vets I expected him to sleep but he was on the go for 7 hours after we got him home ^^” He seems to alternate between running around like crazy and sleeping in the bathroom sink xD I don’t think the heat bothers him much!

  39. August 25, 2019 / 8:14 pm

    Lulu: “It’s not for surgery or anything, but our Mama has had her last four doctor appointments canceled and rescheduled by the office. She got so confused she missed the last one and it had to be rescheduled again.”
    Charlee: “Yeah I think we pets have an easier time with the vet than humans do with their doctors. Lucky us!”
    Chaplin: “We’re sending purrs that your fourth time is the charm!”
    Lulu: “And I’m sending tail wags!”

    • August 26, 2019 / 3:25 pm

      Oh no, your poor mama, how frustrating! I often think going to the vets would probably be easier & more effective for us humans. I hope your mama manages to finally get to go to her appointment, fingers crossed! x

  40. August 29, 2019 / 4:49 am

    Heck, I feel overwhelmed by trying to catch up from just taking a week vacation last week, dear Caz. I am perpetually impressed with how much care you put into commenting on my blog as well as those of others, I am always impressed by how much care you put into each reply.

    So sorry about your postponed appointment. When a cousin who lives in UK & I compared US vs UK medical — I believe you’re much better off than we are in terms of what each of us gets & how here in US we pay an incredible amount for insurance plus large co-pays for every visit, test, procedure, etc. My cousin mentioned that there’s a shortage of doctors there — & unfortunately here I’ve had instances where I’ve had to wait quite a while for procedures that weren’t urgent. I am basically a chicken (& near superstitious) when it comes to anything to do with doctors, so on the rare occassion something’s had to be rescheduled, I tend to think that maybe it’s been a near-miss of something worse.

    For whatever it’s worse, along the same lines, I’ve heard it’s best to schedule surgery for 1st thing in morning, when docs are fresh, & not near one’s menstral period, so body is as strong as possible.

    Sending my best!

    • August 29, 2019 / 4:56 pm

      I hope you had a lovely vacation! It’s hard taking a break like that and coming back to a mountain of things to do in life outside of blogging, let alone adding that to the list. It’s interesting comparing the UK and US. We’re very fortunate with the NHS, but you can also argue we pay for it with high taxes and it’s falling short and failing a hell of a lot of people. Swings and roundabouts.. I think that’s a good way to see it with the silver lining of things being cancelled, you never do know what would have happened if it hadn’t. Thanks for the lovely comment! Try not to get too stressed yourself with catching up  ♥ xx

    • August 30, 2019 / 3:14 pm

      Some people get it far worse than this, I think it was just the proverbial ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’ the day I wrote this 😂 I hope you’re doing as well as possible lovely xx

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