Learning to Care A Little Less

There’s a delicate balance between caring too little and too much, and neither comes without its pitfalls. Caring too little can make you apathetic, unsympathetic, demotivated. Caring too much can make you exhausted, stressed out, resentful, disappointed, anxious. Most people I have met have been inclined towards one or the other end of the spectrum, or have see-sawed between the two.

I Care Too Much

For the most part, I seem to care too much, about too many things, many of which are unimportant in the grand scheme of it all. I take things to heart, I take things too personally, I have perfectionist tendencies. I want more control over my life and my surroundings, even when it’s not achievable. I can be too empathic and take too much on, I can take things too seriously, I can fret and worry until I’m a mess.

This post is not about apathy. I’m glad I care about others and the world around me, and I’m glad I mostly care too much. But there’s a limit, and when you reach it you risk becoming frazzled and overwhelmed.

Learning to care a little less isn’t something that comes easily for me. It’s something I have to constantly remind myself, and it’s not always successful, not even the majority of the time. But I try, and sometimes I manage it and the feeling is liberating.

A woman standing on a road with a city scape behind her. She's stretching and holding a top above her head, as though she's free and feeling liberated.

What It Means To Care A Little Less

To care a little less can mean giving up some of the restrictions and stresses you put on yourself and your life. The need for control, be that over your body, your health and your life, or your situation and those around you, can drive you stir crazy. Sometimes you can only do so much before nature takes over. Some things are simply out of your control, and all we can partly control is our response to what happens to us and around us.

Caring a little less can mean not taking things too personally and not worrying so much about what others think. I find this difficult when it comes to my health because of the old “you look fine” malarky. The sense of being judged is pervasive and can really get to you. But really, what does it matter in the grand scheme of things? What does it matter if they can’t see how much I struggle or ignorantly make judgements? What does it matter if people judge my size, my face, my appearance, my lifestyle or my choices? It’s not their life, and I can choose to care only about what I think without letting the views or perceptions of others make me paranoid or bring me down. And so can you.

Caring a little less can mean veering away from the path well trodden. In society, there seems to be unwritten rules about what is acceptable and what isn’t, and what milestones you should achieve at certain stages of your life. There are expectations that hang heavily over us in terms of relationships, jobs, money, possessions, having children. These are based on ideals and outdated notions of what constitutes happiness and fulfilment and success. Choose to define your own happiness and success within your own limits.

How To Do It

Caring a little less is a little easier if you can get a bit of space and perspective. Will the things you worry about and obsess over seem as important in a week, a month, or 5 years from now? What is the worst case scenario? Will the world truly fall apart? Whose problem is this, if you worry that people judge you; yours or theirs? We can make ourselves stronger & more resilient by choosing what we care less about, giving us freedom over the small, insignificant stresses and freedom over worrying what others think of us. So what if we haven’t ‘achieved’ the usual things by a certain time like a house or kids; so what if I don’t have a thigh gap; so what if I’m not skydiving, partying and holidaying. So what if I’m not editing my life on social media to make out as if everything is a constant stream of colourful fun and joy.

Let go of the expectations and pressures put upon youCare about being a good person and what that means to you. I want to focus on being caring, considerate, thoughtful. I want to be stronger and more confident in myself so that I’m not as hurt by judgements nor as worried about what others will think. I want to feel free to live my life as best I can and play by my own rules.

Recommended Reading

There are a few great books out there that can give a new perspective & help you in the quest for more peace and less stress. You might want to check out the following :

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck : A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson – Amazon UK / Amazon US / The Book Depository

You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero – Amazon UK / Amazon US / The Book Depository

F**k It : The Ultimate Spiritual Way by John Parkin – Amazon UK / Amazon US / The Book Depository

I have read & own all of these, so I would personally recommend them.

In Conclusion

Liberate yourself by caring a little less about the things that aren’t helpful; you will find you are more able to live in the moment and find beauty where there was perhaps bleakness before. You can direct the energy spent before on caring too much about unhelpful or uncontrollable things on yourself and your own life instead.

Do you sweat the small stuff, perhaps with over-stressing & over-thinking?

Caz  ♥

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105 Comments

  1. July 10, 2019 / 4:36 pm

    Thank you. I needed to hear this.

    • July 14, 2019 / 3:45 pm

      I’m glad it came at the right time. Take good care of yourself & have a good week ahead 😊

  2. Ashley
    July 10, 2019 / 4:39 pm

    Now I tend to fall more toward the apathy end of the spectrum, but even when I was well I was able to mostly avoid the trap of caring too much about what others thought/expected.

    • July 14, 2019 / 3:48 pm

      That sounds like a better balance, it’s when the scales are tipped to the extremes that it can have a negative impact. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Ashley 😊 I hope you have a good week ahead, please be kind to yourself after everything that’s been going on, especially work/health-wise. xx

  3. July 10, 2019 / 4:40 pm

    Totally the same. I’m an empath, sensitive, and some days just need a break. I’ve had and still am, having a social media break as I get too overwhelmed and it’s been nice just concentrating on what I needed to. A hug thank you btw. 🙂 hope you’ve had a good week so far lovely. Xx

    • July 14, 2019 / 3:49 pm

      I think being sensitive & empathic are what make you awesome, but you’re right that sometimes it can get to be too much, reaching burnout when you’ve taken on too much. I think that break is a good idea, Toni. Focus on YOU, rest, get some mental breathing space ♥ xx

  4. July 10, 2019 / 5:01 pm

    It’s hard to control the care and don’t care. You can try, but often it doesn’t work. I’m proof of that.

    Have a fabulous Wednesday, my friend. ♥

    • July 14, 2019 / 3:50 pm

      You’re right, it can be very hard, but I think recognising where there are detrimental problems to your wellbeing can help to readdress the balance every now and then, even if just a little. Thank you for the comment, Sandee – Have a lovely week ahead xx

  5. July 10, 2019 / 5:07 pm

    Why sweat the small stuff? I ask myself that all the time. Sometimes I listen. Most times not. I love your perspective. Just making the effort to care for what really matters is more than enough on our plates. I’ll have to take a look at the reference books. I’ve seen them but never gave thought since I focus on fiction works.

    If one of them can help me focus on what matters to me, (writing) then they are worth a look.
    Thanks Caz.

    • July 14, 2019 / 3:52 pm

      I say that to myself but I rarely listen, maybe we need to shout a little louder to ourselves? 😂 I like a little non-fiction every now and then but I usually read them differently to fiction, just dipping in and out more casually. The books are really good for a pick-me-up and to give a new perspective on things. Thanks for the comment, Darnell, and well done on your latest piece, very nicely written! x

  6. Svet
    July 10, 2019 / 5:17 pm

    I also adopted the “So What” approach lately, and it seems to reduce the unnecessary stress 🙂

    • July 11, 2019 / 5:39 am

      I am pretty speechless now. I teeter between nervous break down and let’s run naked through the park! I guess I’m trying to find that sweet spot… To be empathetic without going there myself. Being in the moment and so scared I’ll never have another moment like this so I make extreme decisions! Well… hmmmm… yep, still speechless. GREAT post, Caz. 😊💜

      • July 12, 2019 / 4:08 pm

        It’s a really tricky one, isn’t it? Getting that balance right can be so hard, but I think when we feel it’s taking too much from us or making us miserable, we know we need to address it and try to mitigate the negative impact in some way. I’m really glad you liked this (and that my post actually made sense as I was worried it wouldn’t!) Thanks lovely – hope the packing is coming along well 🙂
        xx

    • July 14, 2019 / 3:52 pm

      I’m going to have to try that, it’s great it’s working for you! Have a great week lovely xx

  7. July 10, 2019 / 5:58 pm

    The subtle art is still on my bucket list. I’ve a whole list of books to buy and read for. K was commenting on my blog about caring. You may identify with what he was saying.
    I’m in awe that you’ve read them all. I usually buy the books and have them on.my shelf having read a bit – I start things and rarely finish.

    • July 14, 2019 / 3:54 pm

      I’ve got an ever-growing to-read list, too! The Subtle Art is a good one for a hit-you-in-the-face kind of perspective change, I really liked it so I hope you do too if/when you check it out. Thanks for the comment lovely, I hope you have a positive week ahead 😊 xx

      • July 15, 2019 / 5:58 pm

        I will be checking it out 🙂 When I’ve more than £30 in my account to spend, that is.

        • July 16, 2019 / 8:31 am

          Money’s tight for me, too. Have you checked your local library? I think mine has one of these books but that’s all, though it’s worth a try 🙂

          • July 18, 2019 / 5:50 pm

            Great idea! I just reserved it.

  8. July 10, 2019 / 6:44 pm

    I tend to care too much at times too, Caz. I’ve gotten better at finding that balance, but I have to keep on myself to be mindful.

    • July 14, 2019 / 3:55 pm

      It’s good you’re better at striking that balance now, but I think it’s probably a constant journey for most of us. Maybe that’s a better way to view it, like regularly checking in with ourselves & making adjustments as needed. Thanks for the comment 😊 xx

  9. July 10, 2019 / 7:22 pm

    It is difficult to not cry for injustice or need. I guess identifying where you can help and where it just brings stress is a great first step.

    • July 10, 2019 / 7:30 pm

      I also am somebody who often cares too much. Thanks for putting things into perspective for us, Caz!

      • July 14, 2019 / 3:58 pm

        I’m glad you liked it, thank you, Viola. Have a good week ahead lovely 😊xx

    • July 14, 2019 / 3:57 pm

      I think empaths can reach a point of burnout by caring so deeply about so much, which isn’t a bad thing. But knowing where things are causing a problem for you can help in adjusting the balance for your own wellbeing. I hope you’re having a lovely weekend, Jacqui xx

  10. July 10, 2019 / 7:29 pm

    I too care too much. For the most part I prefer it, I’d much rather care too much than to be like so many who are apathetic, but you are right, this caring can get me into trouble sometimes. I think I have a handle on it most of the time, but sometimes. ahhh. haha certain people can do it to me, I’m getting better about it though. I’ve heard of the books you’ve mentioned, I need to check them out! Love the post Caz!

    • July 14, 2019 / 3:59 pm

      I’m the same, I’d rather care too much like I do than be apathetic. It’s getting that balance if it’s negatively affecting you that can be tricky. I hope you enjoy the books if/when you check them out, I quite enjoyed them all for their own merits and they’re good to dip in and out of when you need a boost or a pick-me-up! Hope you’re having a restful weekend, Wendy  ♥
      xx

  11. July 10, 2019 / 8:46 pm

    As someone who always tends to care too much, this post was very helpful! You’re right, it does leave us stressed out and even resentful. Thanks for the tips on how to leave that destructive pattern behind!

    • July 14, 2019 / 4:01 pm

      I’m just glad you could grasp the points I was trying to make, I don’t know if I was all that clear as it was quite hard to write and I’m certainly not saying it’s a ‘bad’ thing to care or to be apathetic instead. I’m really pleased you liked it, thanks Ann. Have yourself a good week ahead 😊 xx

  12. July 10, 2019 / 9:18 pm

    Good! Very well written, you have some good advise here 🙂

    • July 14, 2019 / 4:01 pm

      It’s great you liked it, thank you! Hope you’re having a good weekend 😊 xx

  13. July 10, 2019 / 9:42 pm

    I agree with everything you say about not letting other’s opinions about the way you live your life matter. It’s not that I don’t care what people think so much as I realize it is THEIR issue not mine. If I am feeling especially sarcastic I give a reply that will drop their jaws…. For example, Why aren’t you married? My response is something like well then I would have to make a choice, with so many options why limit myself. Please remember you be you! You are the one that has to live with yourself and no one other than your opinion really matters. Ftr I am glad that you care “too much” . The fact that a woman who lives on another continent takes the time to leave an encouraging comment on my page, means the world to me. Truly it does

    • July 14, 2019 / 4:03 pm

      Absolutely, negativity from others or judgements are their problem, not yours. I love your response, I think taking comments in your stride like that is brilliant. And you taking the time to read and comment the way you do means a lot to me too, I hugely appreciate you, so thank you  ♥ Have a good week lovely xx

  14. July 10, 2019 / 9:48 pm

    Hello Invisibly Me I have Nominated you for the Liebster Award. The post is on my page for you to read. I hope to read your reply my friend.

    • July 12, 2019 / 5:35 pm

      Ooh yes I saw this earlier – congrats on your award & thank you for the kind nomination!
      Have a lovely weekend, James 🙂

    • July 13, 2019 / 6:58 am

      Great post, Caz. I am also someone who “cares too much,” and it can all become rather overwhelming sometimes. Since chronic illness I’ve had to learn to set boundaries, but it’s still not something I find easy! And often I slip back into old habits! Love the sound of these books, I will have to check them out xx

      • July 13, 2019 / 4:39 pm

        I’m sorry you can relate, Emma! It’s good you’re working on the boundaries though, and hopefully bit by bit that works. I think these things, for most of us, are probably a continual journey and constant work-in-progress. The books are really good, at least I’ve found them to be quite encouraging & eye-opening, and definitely useful when I’ve needed that kick up the bum to care a little less! Thanks for the comment, and also for sharing it on FB/Twitter. I hope you have a restful weekend lovely ♥
        xx

  15. Mama Duck
    July 10, 2019 / 11:14 pm

    This is a difficult balance for many people and I am one who could relate to your struggle! You seem to have good thoughts about “how” to balance…the challenge is always in the “practice” of what we know! God bless you as you work toward less-stress.

    • July 12, 2019 / 4:19 pm

      It’s very tricky getting that balance, but you’re right, it’s harder still to put into practice what we know – I seem to be a brilliant hypocrite here as I can’t taken my own advice! Thank you for the comment lovely. Have a relaxing weekend ahead  ♥
      xx

  16. July 11, 2019 / 12:20 am

    I can certainly relate. Sometimes it’s hard to find that balance of caring just the right amount without driving ourselves insane… especially when it relates to things that are not particularly within our control. It’s even more maddening when we find ourselves losing sleep over things that don’t truly matter in the grand scheme of things… and I am definitely a pro at that. 😬

    • July 12, 2019 / 4:18 pm

      I’m sorry you can relate, but at least it seems we’re not alone in finding it hard to get that balance. I think it can take something more monumental happening in our lives to give us that perspective sometimes that a lot of things we worry about really aren’t that important at all in the grand scheme of it all, but it’s hard to remember that on a day to day basis. Thanks for the comment! I hope you & the furbaby are as well as possible xx

  17. July 11, 2019 / 12:21 am

    A great post Caz! There are so many things that we worry about that are out of our control. If I worry about something I do what I can about the situation. Once I’ve done my part I have to let it go. It’s then up to God.

    • July 12, 2019 / 4:16 pm

      You’re right, there are a lot of things we can over-stress and worry about that are out of our control, and then aren’t really worth our time if we can’t do anything about it. Letting go isn’t easy but it’s worth it for our peace of mind and wellbeing. Thank you, Ruth. Have a lovely weekend 😊 xx

  18. July 11, 2019 / 2:38 am

    I think what you are saying really falls in line with being able to let things go and move on. Yes you learn from your mistakes but you don’t need to dwell on them.

    • July 12, 2019 / 4:14 pm

      That’s a good point with letting go, I think that really does intertwine with caring less about the things that, in the grand scheme of life, don’t matter that much, or at least aren’t worth your stress & worry. Thanks, Alice! Hope you’re having a good week lovely xx

    • July 12, 2019 / 4:11 pm

      They’re pretty great, aren’t they? Definitely eye-catching 😂
      xx

  19. July 11, 2019 / 6:21 am

    Thank you for this post – I really need to work on caring less!

    • July 12, 2019 / 3:59 pm

      I hope you can address it and work out a better balance that makes you happier, Siobhan; it’s not easy, but it’s worth it rather than overthinking, over-stressing and sweating the small stuff. Thank you for the comment, have a lovely weekend 🙂
      xx

  20. July 11, 2019 / 7:29 am

    Sometimes I read a blog post and think, this was written for me. This is one of those times. I take things personally and worry about things I shouldn’t way too much. And yes, I spend too much time thinking about what other people think of me. You’d think I should have grown out of that by now, wouldn’t you?
    Great post, Caz, and a great reminder for me x

    • July 12, 2019 / 3:58 pm

      I’m glad this post resonated, though not glad you find yourself worrying and overthinking too much, too. It’s good this post even made any sense as I wasn’t sure I was getting my points across well. I don’t think it’s something we can easily overcome because it’s ingrained and intermingles with personality traits, but knowing what we’re doing and when it’s having a detrimental impact is a good start towards addressing the balance. Thank you for the great comment – I hope you have a restful weekend, Liz  ♥ xx

  21. July 11, 2019 / 8:09 am

    Great post, thank you for sharing! I think this is something many of us struggle with, a personality trait we may not be able to conquer. But think you are correct – striving for balance can only be helpful, healthy.

    • July 12, 2019 / 3:40 pm

      You’re right, I think as a personality trait of being caring, empathic, perhaps quite prone to anxiety or stress, it can be hard to change. I’m certainly not suggesting it’s better to be cold hearted, at all, just to work on more balance to not care as much about the small things, the things that, in the grand scheme of life, aren’t worth your worry and stress when they take up so much brain space. I’m glad you liked the post, thanks for the comment, Cindy! Have a lovely weekend 🙂
      xx

  22. July 11, 2019 / 9:08 am

    The title certainly make you want to read them!

    • July 12, 2019 / 3:35 pm

      The books are all pretty good, and I agree, great titles! 😂
      xx

  23. July 11, 2019 / 12:08 pm

    Another amazing post, Caz. You’ve touched on one of my lifetime goals, here. I found that working on my distorted thinking (a CBT technique) has really helped a lot with this, but I could use as many tools at my disposal as possible. I really like your suggestions and will try to incorporate them! Thanks again for another, very helpful post! xx

    • July 12, 2019 / 3:31 pm

      That’s a good point with CBT & working on the thought pattern side of things. I think it takes a big shift in yourself when you’re someone who cares a lot and over-thinks, over-stresses, perhaps also has issues with anxiety. But, it can be done in small ways as a continual work in progress. I find it very hard and I’ve got a heck of a long way to go, but I’m seeing it as a long (very long!) journey. I’m glad the post made sense because I was worried I’d rambled and nobody would understand the points I was trying to make, so that’s good. Just know that you’re capable, Michelle, and that you deserve more than being over stressed by caring too much. You’ll get there, bit by bit  ♥ Thank you for the great comment! I hope you have a restful weekend ahead.xx

  24. Luisa Zambrotta
    July 11, 2019 / 12:44 pm

    I love this post
    Thank you for sharing
    <3

    • July 12, 2019 / 3:27 pm

      You’re welcome, I’m really pleased you liked it! Thanks, Luisa – Have a lovely weekend 😊
      xx

  25. July 11, 2019 / 3:18 pm

    I’ve tried but never had much luck. Funny enough someone was reading the first book in the airport this week.

    • July 12, 2019 / 3:26 pm

      It’s difficult, isn’t it? I saw your pic of the book, on Insta I think it was, how’re you finding it? I hope you’re having a good week, Jo  ♥ xx

  26. July 11, 2019 / 3:42 pm

    Caz, get ready for this unexpected comment. I think this is so true in matters of romantic love.
    Sometimes people love so much and provide so much love, they can often deprive themselves of the love they deserve. We must always remember to love ourselves first.

    Really enjoyed this post. Hope you and yours are well.

    • July 12, 2019 / 3:23 pm

      I think you’re so spot on about that, especially perhaps for those that are quite generous and empathic and may not even realise at the time quite what’s happening until they start feeling exhausted or resentful from the deprivation of what they deserve. Brilliant comment, thank you! How’re you doing at the moment with your vision? I hope you’re keeping as well as possible and not overdoing things with reading/screen time, and that you have a restful weekend ahead, Drew.x

  27. July 11, 2019 / 6:20 pm

    Love the title! And what you wrote is spot on – caring about being a good person is really the most important thing. Xx Thanks Caz for the reminder.

    • July 12, 2019 / 3:14 pm

      I’m glad you liked it, Christy! Sometimes, I think that realising we’re good people & focusing on that can be more valuable than the other things we stress about. I hope you have a good weekend ahead lovely xx

  28. July 11, 2019 / 8:30 pm

    What an outstanding post Caz! As one over-carer (yes, I just made that word up….) I understand where you’re coming from. Your opening paragraph explained the delicate balance beautifully. Your big heart is one of the things that makes you so special, so I hope you never lose that. On the other hand, caring too much about what others think can become a prison for us, so I love what you said, “Let go of the expectations and pressures put upon you. Care about being a good person and what that means to you. I want to focus on being caring, considerate, thoughtful. I want to be stronger and more confident in myself so that I’m not as hurt by judgements nor as worried about what others will think. I want to feel free to live my life as best I can and play by my own rules.” Good for you sweet friend!

    • July 12, 2019 / 3:13 pm

      You understand exactly where I’m coming from, which is great because I’d worried I made no sense with this post! I’m a long way from getting to that point of feeling I can “live by my own rules” and care a little less about the things that, in the grand scheme of life, don’t really matter, but I know I need to work on it, so that’s a good start. Thank you for such a great comment, Terri. I hope the week has been treating you okay, and that you have a relaxing weekend ahead  ♥
      xx

  29. July 13, 2019 / 1:40 am

    I also care too much, but show it too little. I need to work on that.

    Great reading recommendations. I haven’t read F*ck It, yet, but enjoyed the other two!

    Great post, Caz!

    • July 14, 2019 / 4:05 pm

      Caring is a good thing, and if you can show it a little more because you want to, then that’s great. I think a lot of people regret not showing how much they care sometimes. Good to hear you’ve already read & enjoyed two of the books, they’re fab! Thanks for the comment lovely  ♥ xx

  30. July 13, 2019 / 5:28 am

    such a great subject – who of us hasn’t wanted to shake someone & fix their life for them? & who of us hasn’t wanted to completely wash our hands of someone?… these things that require balance need ongoing learning & relearning — & reminding like you do here

    • July 14, 2019 / 4:06 pm

      Absolutely, da-AL. You’ve summed it up nicely, and I’m glad you liked the post. Have a good week ahead!  ♥ xx

  31. July 13, 2019 / 10:05 am

    I really like your point about will this matter in a week/a month/a year. I did an exercise like this once – you write down the main thing that is worrying you each day and see whether it’s still a problem a wweek later. Of course some big things don’t go away, but some things that feel really stressful and worrying don’t actually matter a week or a month later. It’s hard to let go and care less sometimes, and I think it’s brave to write about it – but at the same time I think it’s something we can all relate to.

    • July 13, 2019 / 4:36 pm

      I’ve come across that exercise before, too. I think it’s good in showing a different perspective. Thank you very much for the brilliant comment, Kirsty! I hope you’re having an enjoyable weekend 🙂
      xx

  32. July 13, 2019 / 11:20 am

    Hello. I seem to be having a bit of an issue leaving this message. If a bunch show up I’m not being a troll! I have nominated you for the Chronically Hopefull Award! 😊🌹💜

    • July 13, 2019 / 3:55 pm

      Why was it ever called ‘trolling’? I’m pretty sure actual trolls in wouldn’t have a clue how to even use social media or blogs, let alone care for trolling people 😂 Thank you very much for the kind nomination! I’m a bit behind (as usual) on comments & reading blogs. It’s now 5pm here and my migraine is only just starting to ease off so I can actually do something, despite taking meds since I woke up! Grr. Anyway, thank you very muchly! ♥ xx

  33. July 13, 2019 / 2:01 pm

    Really great post, Caz! I relate wholeheartedly to this and live with much of what you pointed out. It can be torturous!! Thanks for the tips and reading recommendations! The art of letting go has helped me significantly, but I still have a long way to go. It’s maddening when my family talks about how great I look and how difficult it is to believe how sick I am, when as they discuss it I am so sick I want to cry. If only my outside matches my inside!! Loved this!! ❤️Stace

    • July 13, 2019 / 3:52 pm

      I’m sorry you find the same with caring too much and probably over-thinking/over-stressing and generally wasting too much brain space on things that, in the grand scheme of life, probably aren’t all that important. The nature of invisible illness is beyond infuriating and difficult to deal with sometimes, isn’t it? I’m not sure what the outside would look like if it reflected how we felt; is there any appearance that could do chronic pain and illness justice? If so, I think it’d give people nightmares! I wish I had some excellent response for how to deal with that side of things, when you look ‘fine’ and others can’t believe you’re actually unwell, it’s a really tricky one. But we here in this blogging community, your tribe, get you. ♥
      xx

  34. July 14, 2019 / 10:02 am

    I used to care so much about fitting in and what other people thought. I’m trying to find a better balance now and accept that it’s okay to think differently to others 🙂

    I’m also super sensitive though: If my partner’s feeling sad, even if I’m having a good day, I tend to feel sad too, and I get emotional over news, TV and Film: Especially if that news involves cruelty to animals. I know there’s little I can do to change it, which makes it even worse.

    • July 14, 2019 / 3:41 pm

      It’s really good you’re getting to that point of having more confidence in being you, caring less about what others think or external judgements. I think that empathy makes you a wonderful friend and partner, and it’s good to care about the things that matter. There is a point of burnout though when you take it all in, and carry it on your shoulders. Make sure to care for your own wellbeing and off-set any negative emotions by cuddling Merlin 😊 Thanks for the comment, Louise xx

  35. July 14, 2019 / 2:41 pm

    Great perspective Caz, exactly what I need to hear , and there’s so much truth to it! Your point” Care about being a good person and what that means to you” has a great depth and meaning.Love it .Thanks for sharing such inspiring posts always look forward to reading them.

    • July 14, 2019 / 3:39 pm

      Aw, I’m really glad you liked it & that it made sense, because I wasn’t convinced I’d explained the points I was trying to make too clearly! Thanks, Nisha. I hope you have a lovely week ahead 😊
      xx

  36. Megala
    July 14, 2019 / 6:10 pm

    Wonderful thought-provoking article! Generally, women tend to do things too much, but if we learn to do a little less, we would really feel liberated.

    • July 14, 2019 / 8:02 pm

      There are differences in genders, stereotypical or not, that are reflected in things like emotiveness and anxiety and stress. Good point, and I’m glad you liked the post. I really do think that addressing that caring balance can be liberating. Thanks for the comment lovely, have a good week! 🙂
      xx

  37. July 14, 2019 / 10:41 pm

    Lulu: “I’m pretty carefree, myself, but I think that Dada has a tendency to sweat the small stuff.”
    Charlee: “We cats don’t have that problem.”
    Chaplin: “Oh no. In fact, we could have written those books.”

    • July 15, 2019 / 3:10 pm

      Oh, your Dada has a similar issue to me then with sweating the small stuff. You kittykats know how to live – we should be taking life lessons from you! Have a great week ahead 😊

  38. Lisa Keeble
    July 15, 2019 / 6:29 am

    I love this post Caz, it’s a subject that we don’t really talk about for fear of being seen as ‘selfish’ but caring too much about other people’s opinions of us can be so damaging and just sitting back sometimes and really thinking about what we want from life is so rewarding. This piece is really well put together and a great reminder for everyone that it’s a good thing to love ourselves :O) x

    • July 15, 2019 / 3:09 pm

      You’re right, I think it’s a tricky topic, but important. I’m glad my post made sense, I wasn’t too sure I got my points across all that well so I didn’t want it to be misconstrued. Thank you for the lovely comment! I hope you’re doing as well as possible, Lisa 😊xx

  39. July 15, 2019 / 1:06 pm

    I love The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. I try to care a little less sometimes, but it’s really hard to do when you’re teaching middle schoolers. I’m loads better at it than when I first started my career though.

    • July 15, 2019 / 3:08 pm

      It’s a brilliant book, glad you’ve enjoyed it too! I think it’s probably a continual thing we need to work at and readjust if it becomes an issue that drags us down, but that you’ve noticed you’re better at it since starting your career is a positive sign. That probably comes with confidence, too. Thanks for the comment lovely. I hope you have a good week ahead  ♥
      xx

  40. July 15, 2019 / 1:56 pm

    Couldn’t agree more, Caz. Will also be checking out those books. My husband loves the first one but I hadn’t heard of the others!

    • July 15, 2019 / 3:07 pm

      I’m glad the post made sense, I wasn’t sure I got the points I was trying to make across all that well. The books are fab; I’d recommend any/all of them for a breath of fresh air and change of perspective. They’re just so easy to dip in and out of, too. I hope you enjoy the other two if you do decide to give them a read any time! I hope the week ahead is kind to you lovely  ♥ xx

  41. July 15, 2019 / 6:48 pm

    Caz, you absolutely nailed it…again. ♥ My favorite part was this: “Let go of the expectations and pressures put upon you. Care about being a good person and what that means to you.” THAT is what matters. Nothing more, nothing less.

    I get angry (to be perfectly honest) at how much is “expected” in our cultures. Worse yet, the folks who look down on their noses at you, as if you have done something wrong. Do they seriously think they’ve got life figured out? They’re doing everything right, meeting all the marks? What a bunch of BS! The answer is heck no, they don’t. Neither do we. And that’s ok!

    As an introvert, it’s unbelievably easy to get lost in a deep hole of overthinking and self-analyzing (been deep in it here lately) and it does bring on anxiety, depression and just all out burn out. It’s never a good thing. The world loses you – perfect you, beautiful you and one of a kind you. Losing you Caz would be tragedy at its worst! I hope you do throw off all the cares and burdens because you deserve it. 🤗

    You’re wonderful Caz. Never forget that!

    • July 16, 2019 / 8:34 am

      Absolutely – I think we can get so waylaid with other worries and pressures that we forget that being a good person matters more than anything, and that’s good enough. You’re so right with our culture of constant ‘doing’ and needing to achieve. I think there are other cultures in the world that would take one look at how we live and think it utterly ridiculous; when we can get a little perspective on it, I think we can probably see that, too. None of us really know what we’re doing, we’re just trying to get along, it just saddens me that so many of us are miserable in this ‘rat race’ kind of cycle that we never feel good enough.
      You are so kind, Holly. I really do appreciate your lovely comment  ♥ Thank you! You’re awesome  ♥
      xxxx

  42. July 16, 2019 / 9:50 pm

    I’m glad you made a blog post an opened up about this and your experience of caring to much – I do to ! I’m glad you are using books as a way of mindfulness also. I have being doing something similar with a mix of funny / self-care books being Happy and Mind over Mood 💜x

    • July 17, 2019 / 5:36 pm

      I’m glad you can relate and are trying to address the balance with books, mindfulness and self-care. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Morgan! I hope you have a good rest of your week 🙂
      xx

  43. Julie de Rohan
    July 18, 2019 / 10:12 am

    This is such a fantastic post, Caz, and something that isn’t said enough – particularly to women. While it’s great to care about others, it shouldn’t be at our own expense. If it is – there’s something wrong and the balance needs to be redressed.

    For some reason only known to WordPress, your posts have stopped showing up in my Reader so I can see I missed the last three (I love WordPress but sometimes it’s so frustrating!). Will attempt to put an alert on so I don’t miss any in future – I would have been gutted to miss this post in particular. Hope you’re doing OK, Caz, and having a good week.

    • July 18, 2019 / 3:02 pm

      I think there are a few facets with caring too much, whether that’s about the small, silly things that can set us off on a cycle (the price of groceries, the weather etc) and caring about others when it’s at the expense of ourselves, because burnout can happen when we’re empathic and take too much on our shoulders. I’m sorry you’re having issues with WordPress; perhaps the reader just doesn’t like me! Thank you so much for checking back in & I’m really pleased you liked this post (and that it made sense as I wasn’t sure how well I explained what I was trying to say). I hope you’re doing as well as possible Julie, have a lovely end to your week 😊 xx

  44. July 21, 2019 / 8:39 pm

    What a great post!!

    • July 21, 2019 / 9:37 pm

      I’m really glad you liked it – thanks for the comment, Tanasia! Hope you have a great week ahead 🙂

  45. mishka
    July 24, 2019 / 6:30 pm

    Such a delicate balance, and an invaluable lesson. These days the internet bombards us at every turn with things that intentionally pull on our heart strings, to the point where the world seems awfully unjust. I think some of us are just big hearted people, and honestly, I find it incredibly refreshing. It’s just important to take good care of you first so that you don’t get lost in the shuffle. Thank you for sharing your wisdom! Great post!!

    • July 28, 2019 / 5:09 pm

      Absolutely, ‘don’t get lost in the shuffle’, I love the way you’ve put that. I’m really glad you liked the post, thank you, Mishka! I hope you have a good week ahead  ♥
      xx

  46. August 5, 2019 / 7:57 pm

    I am definitely the type of person who cares a little too much sometimes. When I ‘let it go’ I feel so much better. Today I went out for the first time in ages – leggings and comfy clothes, no make-up and massive hair and all – and I saw someone that I hadn’t seen in 20 years and *I didn’t care at all*. That is only one of the few times it has happened and you know what? She didn’t care at all. We got on just as before and it was all good. I think we (or at least I) put some much pressure on ourselves that when we do let it go, it feels great. I find taking time out to do breathing and yoga helps me too xxx

    • August 6, 2019 / 3:13 pm

      You’re absolutely right, we can put way too much pressure on ourselves but when we let go of some of that, we can be in the moment and enjoy it rather than fretting or feeling crappy, and it feels so much lighter. I’m glad you popped out & had the chance to bump into someone from so long ago, did you recognise them instantly or was it one of those awkward ‘I think I know you, but I’m not sure’ kind of things? That’s happened to me twice 😂 Thanks for the great comment, Jen! xx

  47. September 3, 2019 / 5:32 pm

    A very sane and sensible approach to maintaining sanity!

    • September 4, 2019 / 1:55 pm

      It is a good approach, it’s just a shame it’s easier said than done! Thanks, Leueen, I hope you have a lovely rest of your week 😊
      xx

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