From Cupid With Love : The Gift of Self-Care This Valentine’s

Is it like Marmite to you, either love it or hate it? Maybe you’re ambivalent, or perhaps you couldn’t care less? I’m more towards the latter two – I hope those doing something with their special someone enjoy it, but for those struggling in their relationship, have lost a significant other or are spending the day solo, take heart – it’s just a day, a social convention, it only means something if you give it meaning.

Valentine’s Schmalentines, I just like the novelty tat & chocolate that’s half price or less the day after 😉

Allergy alert : This post may contain some Cheesey, but true, clichés.


Valentine’s has a way of making those going solo right now feel awful and alone. It’s silly how one day can do that.

This year, I’d like to suggest a new meaning to be attached to Valentine’s for those of us who are over the commercial propaganda and in-your-face loved up-ness on social media. I propose a focus on giving ourselves a little more kindness & making a little more time for self-care.

Giving Valentine’s A New Meaning

Self-care is not self-indulgent. It is not selfish. It is vital to mental & physical health, helping you to live your best life & be there for those around you, too.

Without self-care, we can easily become more exhausted, overwhelmed, utterly frazzled, frustrated, and even resentful.

We need maintenance, fuel and rest.

Self-care is about taking responsibility for ourselves. It’s about putting into action that we’re worth looking after. It gives us a chance to take a breather and slow things down so that we can face the world with a little more pizazz.

With chronic illness thrown into the mix, or any kind of challenging life events to deal with, it’s all the more important to focus on taking care of ourselves, mentally and physically.

Whether you’re with someone or not, more regular self-care days, or even an hour in a day, should be scheduled more often. You deserve to look after yourself, and there’s no better time like the present.

This is also a good time to reach out to others who may be alone or struggling right now.

Basic Needs

Make sure your basic needs are met first. Then show yourself care and treat yourself with kindness and without guilt.

  • Nutritious food. Adequate fluids.
  • Take your medications and supplements as directed.
  • Get enough sleep and rest.
  • Feel safe, clean and warm.

A Few Self-care Ideas

Self-care goes beyond candles, bubble baths & chocolate. This is time to do whatever reduces your anxiety and stress, and makes you feel good. It’s entirely up to you what this involves and how you want it to look. Paint your own self-care canvas and fill it with whatever makes you feel nourished, inside and out.

  • Fresh bedding, fresh clothes, a nice hot shower if you want to be invigorated or a long bath if you want to be relaxed. Moisturise.
  • Don’t save the best ‘for the right time’. There’s no time like the present. Dig out the nice linens, put on that special top, use the nice cleanser, watch that much-anticipated film.
  • Reach out to friends and family, online and off-line. Blog friends, forums, social media & support groups, and the good ol’ fashioned way face-to-face. Feel connected and know that you’re not alone.
  • Speak to yourself kindly. Remind yourself of what you’re good at, what your strengths are, what you like about yourself or what others have complimented you on.
  • Show your body some love with some stretches, gentle exercise, a little walk for fresh air if you can.
  • Indulge your inner child and have some fun. It can be as silly as you like, whether that’s finger painting, temporary tattoos or watching childhood cartoons. Laugh a little (YouTube is great here).
  • Take a digital detox. Curl up & loose yourself in a good book. Unleash your creativity. Write, draw, paint, sew, reach for a colouring book, knit, play an instrument, or just sing to your heart’s content when nobody’s home.
  • Listen to music that soothes & uplifts your soul.

Ditch the guilt. Easier said than done, but this is one of the most important aspects.

Ditch the ‘shoulds’.

Ditch the to-do lists for a while and practice the power of ‘no’.


Give Yourself A Little Kindness…

Some alternative gives that are priceless and far more valuable, even if you can’t put a bow on them.

  • Compassion
  • Patience
  • Appreciation
  • Self-respect
  • Personal boundaries
  • Self-care
  • Rest
  • Laughter
  • Hope

… And keep the gift giving to yourself going all year.

Be your own love of your life this Valentine’s, because you are special enough & good enough, just as you are.

Caz  ♥

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54 Comments

  1. Anjali
    February 13, 2019 / 4:14 pm

    Wow, great post Caz….self-care is must on Valentines day and all around the year. I totally agree with you 👍💖😇

    • February 15, 2019 / 4:44 pm

      I’m glad you agree. I think sometimes we need the reminder, because life gets in the way and self-care gets put on the back-burner. Thanks for the lovely comment – I hope you’re well and that you have a lovely weekend, Anjali 🙂
      xx

  2. February 13, 2019 / 4:15 pm

    This is a great post – regardless of your relationship status, Valentine’s Day should be a time to think a bit about yourself, what makes you happy, and how to live a healthy life…great suggestions

    • February 15, 2019 / 4:43 pm

      Exactly that, John. I’m glad you like the post, thanks for the great comment! Have a chilled weekend, John 🙂

  3. ashleyleia
    February 13, 2019 / 4:16 pm

    The only real should about Valentine’s day is that you should go to the store the day after for cheap chocolate. Now there is some self-care!

    • February 15, 2019 / 4:42 pm

      Now you’re speaking my language! Cheap chocs all the way 😉

  4. February 13, 2019 / 4:21 pm

    Great post and so true and I have done that before, bought something for less the price, because valentine’s day as ended.
    The post serves a reminder for us all that we should look after ourselves a bit more.

    • February 15, 2019 / 4:41 pm

      I think it’s the best bit of days like Valentine’s, Easter & even Christmas too – when it’s all much cheaper once they’re over!
      I’m really happy you liked the post – I hope you’re doing okay Liz and that the weekend treats you kindly 🙂
      xx

  5. February 13, 2019 / 5:02 pm

    Love this post! These are wonderful self-care ideas. ♥

    • February 15, 2019 / 4:40 pm

      Aw I’m really glad you liked it, Lily, thanks! Have a great weekend 🙂

  6. February 13, 2019 / 5:14 pm

    I’m with you on no saving something for a special day. They are all special. Enjoy it now, because if you don’t someone else may enjoy that something special you were saving.

    Hubby and I don’t do anything special for Valentine’s Day either. It’s just another day. We love each other every day and that’s even better.

    Have a fabulous day and Valentines Day, Caz. ♥

    • February 15, 2019 / 4:39 pm

      You’re right, all days are special & we should enjoy things now. I think your approach, loving each other every day, is far more valuable than forcing an effort and expectations on one day of the year! Thanks for the great comment – I hope you both have a lovely weekend ahead  ♥
      xx

  7. February 13, 2019 / 5:30 pm

    Love the self-care ideas.
    Thanks Caz

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:42 pm

      Glad you liked them, thanks Darnell! I hope you’re doing well and getting on okay with the writing – Here’s to a great weekend ahead for you my friend 🙂

  8. February 13, 2019 / 7:22 pm

    These are great ideas. I would suggest many be implemented on a daily basis! I think you just made much more sense of Valentines Day. Bravo, Caz!💜

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:38 pm

      I think many should be implemented daily, too, ideally ingrained as a habit because being harsh to ourselves or denying ourselves of the small joys in life get ingrained over the years. Thanks, Kim! I hope you have a lovely, restful weekend ♥
      xx

  9. February 13, 2019 / 8:59 pm

    I loved your allergy alert Caz!😂 Regardless of our relationship status, we could probably all learn to be a little kinder to ourselves…. These are some great self-care tips for any day of the year. I love what you said about not saving the ‘good stuff’ for sometime later. Sometimes we put off using something because we’re waiting for a special-enough time, and then never even get to use it at all. Scheduling this for Pinterest and for one of tomorrow’s FB posts!

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:37 pm

      I think a lot of us probably do that, saving the best for the ‘right’ time or when we feel we deserve it, and of course we’ll end up running out of time. I’m really glad you liked the post and thank you for sharing it, that’s very kind! I hope you have a restful weekend ahead, Terri  ♥
      xx

  10. February 13, 2019 / 9:47 pm

    I love all your self care ideas, and I’m actually at home for most of Valentines, so I’m going to do some of these for it. 🙂 xxx

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:35 pm

      I hope you do some nice things for yourself, no matter how small, and that you have a restful weekend ahead, Heather ♥
      xx

  11. February 13, 2019 / 10:09 pm

    Happy Valentine’s to each of my friends here, including dear Caz – these are perfect perfect tips — have been thinking lately of how it can truly sting when someone is unkind to me — so makes sense that it’s worse when I’m unkind to myself!

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:34 pm

      It’s odd how we’re often so unkind to ourselves but take for granted that it’s okay, when it’s not. Happy Valentine’s lovely – I hope you have a great weekend ahead  ♥
      xx

  12. February 13, 2019 / 11:59 pm

    You said it all, Caz; and in your indomitable fashion too!
    I have only one small comment – “Don’t save the best ‘for the right time’.” I couldn’t agree more! Now, and every moment, is the ‘right time’…
    Well done you… 🙂
    xoxoxo

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:32 pm

      I still struggle with that one but it’s something I’ve become more aware of doing, saving the best for the ‘right’ time which obviously never comes, which I’m sure many of us probably do at least from time to time. Thank you for the wonderful comment, Carolyn – I hope you have a lovely weekend ahead  ♥
      xx

  13. February 14, 2019 / 1:17 am

    I got the most flowers one year on Valentine’s Day when I was single. Ha! It was hilarious. That was a long time ago!

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:31 pm

      You were a popular single lady in demand then, I hope you had a big stick to keep all the admirers at bay! 😉

  14. Chomeusewithachou
    February 14, 2019 / 9:27 am

    This is lovely and actually really important, cheesiness be damned 😉 I would celebrate Valentine’s Day if my husband were interested but he is sadly allergic to romance so today is just another day…but I am now about to go and change my sheets thanks to your post! Hope you have a lovely day xx

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:29 pm

      Cheesiness is necessary sometimes, you just can’t escape it. Fresh sheets is better than nothing if your hubby is allergic to romance, sometimes we just have to do the nice things for ourselves! Thanks for the comment – I hope you and the gorgeous new addition are both well!  ♥
      xx

  15. Julie de Rohan
    February 14, 2019 / 9:58 am

    You’re absolutely right that self-care is about personal responsibility. I also think that it can’t be a generic thing (like the usual advice of have a bath or go for a walk). For me, it’s idiosyncratic – it’s the tiny things that bring us pleasure and make us feel good that may not apply to other people, It’s taking little moments on a daily basis to show ourselves that we care. As an unashamed music junkie, it’s usually taking the time to select exactly the music I want to listen to while I’m preparing dinner or going to bed early just so I can read a few chapters of a book I love. Wonderful post, thanks, Caz.

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:28 pm

      You’re right, it’s more personal and individual in terms of what makes us feel good, what makes us feel we’re looking after ourselves because we all have different needs and preferences to be met, the generic approach is not one-size-fits-all. Thanks for sharing, Julie, an excellent point!  ♥
      xx

  16. February 14, 2019 / 10:06 am

    Thank you Caz for a great post and reminder of the importance of self care. As a solo, I have been extra kind to myself this week, and I shall have a romantic dinner for one tonight! Happy Self care Day Caz. xx

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:27 pm

      Woohoooo, a romantic dinner for one sounds good! I’m glad you’re trying to be extra kind to yourself, I hope you have a lovely weekend with more of the same 🙂
      xx

  17. February 14, 2019 / 3:05 pm

    Great self-care ideas Caz, not just for Valentine’s Day for for whenever you need it! 🙂

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:25 pm

      Yes, keep the love going all year! Thanks Jodi – Have a great weekend =]

  18. February 14, 2019 / 4:11 pm

    One of the best posts on V- day .Self care is so important and no it is not indulgence but a must .As one cannot pour out of an empty cup . I love all the wonderful points you compiled but my favorite is “don’t save the best for the right time” .So profound and true! Have a great day Caz! Thanks for such a lovely post!

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:25 pm

      Aw I’m so glad you liked it, Nisha. That expression, about how you can’t pour from an empty cup, is spot on and sums up why self-care is so important. Thanks for the great comment – Have a lovely weekend ahead  ♥
      xx

  19. February 14, 2019 / 5:16 pm

    I love this post! Self-care is so important and we all need to realize that it doesn’t mean spending big bucks in a spa or a huge shopping trip. Something as simple as giving yourself a break or being less harsh on yourself can make such a huge positive impact.
    Oh, and the little allergy alert was such a fun touch!

    Khanak x
    http://www.khanakm.com

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:24 pm

      Precisely, it doesn’t have to be extravagant nor expensive. The best forms of self-care are usually free and come from within anyway. Thanks for the great comment, Khanak – Happy Friday 🙂
      xx

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:23 pm

      We all can and should, maybe we just need the reminder from time to time. Thanks for reading 🙂

  20. February 15, 2019 / 12:22 am

    Great post Caz! I’m with you in making the day have less meaning for me as a single and more meaning for remebering self love and the other types of love i have in life apart from romantic love. A gentle and lovely reminder of all the nice ways we can be kind to ourselves for mind, body and soul <3
    Helen / http://www.helensjourney.com

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:22 pm

      Yes, exactly right, Helen, and I’m glad you liked the post. Thank you for the great comment – Have a restful weekend ahead  ♥
      xx

  21. February 15, 2019 / 9:31 am

    This is lovely. I agree. It is important to be kind to ourselves.

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:21 pm

      It is indeed, thanks Mary. Happy Friday! 🙂

  22. February 15, 2019 / 10:24 am

    Great Post Caz. Not a big fan of Valentines Day, but self care always! x

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:21 pm

      Cheers to self-care, Toni! Have a lovely weekend =]
      xx

  23. February 15, 2019 / 3:10 pm

    I am delighted with this sweet post! It has been only recently that I have discovered the importance of healthy self-love, but I still need reminders.

    “Not saving the best until last” especially hits home because I tend to do this, and then end up never enjoying “the best” of the thing I saved for last..

    Yes, buying candy and chocolates the day after, when they are sometimes 3/4 off the original cost, has always been a favored past time of mine! Eating it all is another favorite past time. And, munching all the sweet loot down while I watch a few good movies is a sport in which I have often excelled. 🥎 I am most impressed with Jujubes. They last longer than Gummy Bears, and are immensely flavorful! (I just bought 12 Movie Theater Size Boxes off Amazon, though they were not on sale (but, HAD to have them). 😭

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading this wonderful article!

    Keep them coming!

    Hugs

    ♥️ 💜 ❤️

    • February 15, 2019 / 3:20 pm

      Aw I’m so glad you liked the post, Nika! Yes, treat yourself to all the Jujubes you can get your hands on 😉 I’m guilty of saving things for better days, for when I feel I ‘deserve’ them because they’re special, but that day never seems to come. Time we started making use of those things and enjoying those opportunities while we can. Thanks for the great comment – Have a lovely weekend! xx

  24. February 15, 2019 / 4:35 pm

    So true. It’s sad to see how needy and demanding some people become when it comes to 14th Feb, and how they feel justified about it.
    Self-care is important all year round, and it doesn’t have to cost a lot, if anything.
    Sometimes the gift that people really want from you is time, so whether it’s a partner or a good friend, spending time with someone and showing you thought of them is as good as a big box of chocs. Or of course you could bring the chocs along too! XX

    • February 27, 2019 / 2:30 am

      You’re absolutely right. Giving your time is utterly priceless (though chocolates don’t hurt either)! Thanks for your thoughts, Kirsty! 🙂
      xx

  25. February 16, 2019 / 1:28 am

    I’m with you Caz. Self care should be the new motto for Valentine’s Day, and sending love out to the universe.

    • February 27, 2019 / 2:54 am

      Exactly, I’m glad you agree! =]
      xx

  26. February 23, 2019 / 2:40 am

    I’ve never had Marmite. Am I missing out? 😉

    • February 27, 2019 / 2:34 am

      Eugh, I don’t think so. But I do think you need to try Twiglets if you haven’t already (hate marmite, love Twiglets) 😉

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