Hello gorgeous guys ‘n’ gals, how are you all doing?
It’s been a little while so I thought I’d do a little mini-me update. I’ve had some difficult days and I’m quite glad I drafted some of this post a couple of days ago as I spent yesterday zombified. My anxiety has been through the roof on occasions, and those with anxiety know how this can make anything so much worse. But there have also been some positive things and good times; much like the British weather of late, it’s been very changeable!
I’ve seen a neurologist about the headaches, migraines and pain in my left eye. Headaches I’ve had for years, migraines vary in regularity, and the pain in my eye has been a more recent addition from the last year and a half or so. He doesn’t think it’s anything but is requesting an MRI to make sure. He also wrote to my GP about daily pain relief.
After a discussion with my GP, I’ve agreed to trial Duloxetine, brand name Cymbalta, for chronic pain, anxiety and fibro symptoms among other things. Despite my reluctance for a while now of going on a medication like this, I’ve had to admit I could probably use to help. However, I’m still pretty weary of it and I don’t know it’s the ideal time to start it as I’m still awaiting surgery at some point soon. I’m sure there are probably a few of you out there reading this who have experience with this medication, so if anyone would like to comment on it I’d love to read what you have to say.
Home & personal life
Things have been difficult in this area, so I won’t go in to it too much. A lot of things have been getting on top of me. Some days it’s all you can do just to do the basics, yet we seem to have such a ‘doing’ culture that simply resting is frowned upon, leading to that awful guilt-ill-frustrated-burntout cycle.I’ll apologise in advance if I’m taking a little longer to post or respond to emails. All too often I get geared up knowing I’ve got lots to get on with, but my brain is trudging through sludge. The two days of glorious sunshine we had here in the UK helped to lift my spirits, but it was short lasted as the day after we were greeted with rain, thunder and lashings of lightning.
I decided to get my hair cut again, to about shoulder-length, a bit like last year. I want it long until it grows long, then I get fed up with it because it’s noticeably thin and doesn’t do much for self-esteem when you’re constantly thinking how flat it is and whether the gaps are noticeable. Getting it chopped off is quite refreshing and it gives a better appearance of looking fuller, too. Shallow? Perhaps, but every little helps when we should feel good in ourselves, even when our bodies feel anything but good.
For the spring refresh, I’ve also continued with the endless spring cleaning, sorting through things for recycling / eBay / charity.
I’m now down to the last pair of semi-wearable jeans and I’m struggling to find any to fit, in part perhaps due to weight gain and in part due to the stoma bag, where I’m more aware of where things fit around my stomach and hips. Surely I’m not the only one who’s not a big fan of these super tight skinny jeans? That’s all many shops have been selling for a while, so finding straight or bootcut jeans is rare. Finding a pair to fit is rarer still. The hunt continues..!
My father’s come down with Shingles on top of other issues – honestly, I think we’re all falling apart! Meanwhile, my mum turned 70 just over a week ago – she certainly doesn’t seem 70 in my eyes and probably never will. She is an incredible woman and she’s stuck by me through everything. The world’s a brighter place with her in it and I could never thank her enough.
One of the things I bought was a large canvas replica of the gorgeous art by Leonid Afremov entitled Freshness of Cold. He has done some incredible pieces with oils and I’d be hard pushed to ever choose a favourite. This one stunning and she loved it. I thought I’d share it here incase you haven’t seen his style before.
I’ve taken us out for small things to celebrate over the week, nothing too challenging or exciting sadly, but enjoyable nonetheless. These include eating lots of cake, a drink up town, a mooch around the shops, a 45 minute drive just to get an Ed’s Diner milkshake (because they are pretty darn good!) and a film afternoon with enough tea to take a bath in.
I’ve just finished All The Little Pieces by Jilliane Hoffman, a crime thriller that centres on one woman and her child who witnessed a victim with her attackers just days before she was discovered murdered. She didn’t speak out at first and small secrets quickly spiralled, especially when it appears the murder was the work of serial killers who like nothing more than to keep her quiet. I loved the depth to the novel, which covers the personal lives of those involved, including the witness and the lead detective, as well as the mystery behind how things would eventually come to a conclusion. It was very well written and engaging, so this gets a thumbs up from me, though with a word of warning that there’s a focus on the witness’ drinking problems as she struggles to cope with the destruction of her life since that fateful night.
When your body’s shattered, a good series or film can be great to get lost in, if you have the attention span for it. I recently watched American Crime Story : The Assassination of Gianni Versace. I knew of the murder but very little about the man behind it. This series was fascinating and incredibly well-acted. It’s horrific that it covers real life events as otherwise it could be classed as gripping entertainment, yet entertainment doesn’t seem like the right word in this instance. You get a feel for the characters, the emotional turmoil, the social issues during the 80s and 90s, and the a sense of who Andrew Cunanan was. Highly recommended with an excellent cast. I’m now making may way through Season 1 of Westworld.
How’s your April going so far?