What do you do when you feel pretty rotten?
I had some problems Monday night, starting at about 2am. It started with niggling pain and discomfort, then became intense, across my tummy. I thought it was perhaps another stoma related obstruction or bowel kink because after that it got worse still to the point of being unbearable and I couldn’t stand up or barely move. It brought tears to my eyes. I resorted Tramadol, which I hardly ever do just because I didn’t want another A&E visit, and wished for it to be over. It lasted for hours, and I didn’t sleep a wink. A few days later, and things still aren’t quite right, though the excruciating pain went. I feel so uncomfortable, sick, I hurt, and I don’t quite know what’s wrong, I’m just hoping it gets better soon. Just to make me feel that bit more rotten, I’ve had a yucky cold – aka man flu – for the past week too. Still, it could be worse.
You know the days where you just feel rotten, exhausted, worried that something’s still not right but not knowing what to do to make it better, and generally wanting the world to go away for a while? Yep, feeling that right now. I’m still keeping busy-ish, because the world doesn’t go away; there are still day to day things to do, even when all you want is to crawl in to bed.
But it has made me all the more aware of how my body feels ‘normally’ (which isn’t great, but it’s a damn sight better than this) and more grateful for the things I can normally do (even if restricted, again, it’s a damn sight better than this). Sometimes it takes feeling even worse or having a health scare or even something big going on around you to be able to take a step back, take stock of what’s important, find the elusive silver linings and actually start being gentle with yourself.
How are you all feeling at the moment my lovelies? I hope that wherever you are, whatever you’re up to, that you are doing okay. x