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Stepping Into Uncertainty

by InvisiblyMe

2016 has been a mixed bag, for myself personally as well as the rest of the world. We’ve lost a lot of famous faces to the “2016 Curse”, Trump somehow won the election, the UK voted for Brexit, the NHS is stretched beyond capacity, public services are striking, terrorism has ripped apart lives, and war has devastated countries. It’s an uncertain and worrying time, and that can shake the foundations upon which we are supposed to stand going into the New Year.

But there are lessons to be learned from all of this, bonds that form in the face of adversity against a shared challenge, a sense of renewed strength and purpose and gratefulness. There are continued medical and technical advances, more social movements and small strides made towards fighting ignorance and supporting those in need. Our own challenges, struggles and tragedies serve to make us wiser, stronger, more resilient.

sparklerStepping into 2017, the one thing known for certain is that things are uncertain. I sometimes find dealing with uncertainty very uncomfortable, perhaps because of my slight “control freak” nature (or so I’ve been told!) I like to know what’s going on, I like to have a plan. But it’s just not always possible. You can’t plan for literally every eventuality, and you certainly can’t control the events around you, nor the people around you and what they choose to do.

With invisible illnesses, many of them are unpredictable. You don’t know how you’re going to feel from one hour to the next, let alone the next day, week or month. You may not know where you’re going in terms of the next test you need done, treatment to try, A&E admission, surgery. You may not know if you’ll be able to plan doing something the following weekend because you don’t know if you’ll have the energy to or whether exhaustion or pain or illness will wipe out your plans.

I’ve noticed a similar pattern time and time again when I have stressed about doing something, whether it’s small like what to eat one evening or something a bit bigger like taking a day trip somewhere. I can think and plan and stress, and then make a decision. Then along comes my broken body and messes it all up – that’s what they say about “best laid plans”, because no matter how hard you try, they don’t always work out!

When faced with uncertainty, we can be compelled to try to grasp hold of whatever we can and gain control of our lives. I do this, with varying degrees of effectiveness. It’s reassuring to think that you can build up your own comfort zone and stay in your safe bubble, controlling as much as you can within your life. The problem is, not only can you miss out on life this way, but you feel more shaken and lost when something shakes your safely constructed bubble.

Going with the flow and embracing change and uncertainty is hard, but it’s possible. The first place to start is knowing that whatever happens, you can and will deal with it. Whatever happens, things will be okay.

Think of the last time you dealt with something unexpected. Maybe you handled it well, maybe you struggled. But you got through it, you survived it, and you probably, if you think about it, learned from it. In fact, letting go of some of the need to control things can be liberating, once you push past the initial fear and resistance.

So whether you think you have 2017 all planned out, or whether you’re worried about so many things and feeling out of control and reluctant to step away from your comfort zone, rest assured that you’re not the only one feeling the fear of uncertainty. For 2017, one of the things I would like to do is let go of some of my need to plan and stress and control, to open myself to new experiences and save the energy I would normally spend worrying on either much needed rest or on actually living. A New Year can bring a lot of emotions to the fore, from past regrets to high expectations and pressures. It’s hard to cope with uncertainty on top of that, both in terms of the year in general and your body and health.

But know this : Whatever happens, you can deal with it. Whatever happens, you will find a way to adapt. You are stronger than you think, and whatever 2017 throws your way, you will fight and you will survive.




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10 comments

Ella May Garrett January 3, 2017 - 6:52 pm

I really enjoyed this post! Sometimes just understanding that things are uncertain and not attempting to contain or control them (like I often do) is really calming and reassuring. I often worry, as do others, about things you need not worry about, things far in the future and things that are out of personal control. The idea that whatever 2017 throws at us, we will fight and survive is such a strong message, I love it 🙂 x

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InvisiblyMe January 3, 2017 - 8:28 pm

I’m always amazed at how some people don’t worry and stress about the types of things I do (the really small, seemingly inconsequential things) so it affects people to varying degrees. It’s hard to not worry about the things, especially bigger ones like you say in the far off future, that you can’t control, but I find it can help sometimes by questioning what good it will do to think/stress/worry about it (ie. not a lot!) Thanks for the comment Ella 🙂 x

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Clare January 4, 2017 - 8:38 am

I’ve always been a worrier, last year threw such a huge spanner in the works though with my Mum’s illness that it put everything else into perspective. You never know what’s round the corner.

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InvisiblyMe January 4, 2017 - 8:49 am

I’m sorry to hear about your mum’s illness, it can be incredibly tough having an ill parent. That’s so very true about perspective and not knowing what may happen. Thank you for the comment 🙂

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Shannon Paige January 13, 2017 - 1:45 am

I am TOO good at staying in this safe little bubble of mine….that is a huge goal of mine this year. I find comfort in knowing that many people my age and even much older don’t know what they are doing in life either… !

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InvisiblyMe January 13, 2017 - 10:25 am

The safety bubble is very difficult to get out of when you’re in it, so this is something I need to work on too. As for what I’m doing in life, I don’t have much of a clue so you’re certainly not alone! Thanks for the comment 🙂

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wilde February 11, 2018 - 4:56 pm

Nice post! BTW, thanks for the Ray Bradbury quote on another post….I completely forgot about him…what a talented sci fi author…will have to revisit him…thanks for that memory trigger : )

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InvisiblyMe February 11, 2018 - 5:06 pm

I’m glad you liked the post – thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! Hope you’re having a lovely Sunday 🙂

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Nisha April 20, 2018 - 1:52 pm

Wonderful inspiring post!

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InvisiblyMe April 21, 2018 - 3:04 pm

I’m glad you found it inspiring, that’s great! Thank you for the comment 🙂

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