I hope everyone has survived the trials and tribulations that come with Christmas, New Year and settling back into the swing of ‘normal’ life.
This is one of those me-me-me posts, but I wanted to give you all a little update on a few things.
Among other appointments, I’ve seen a local surgeon who had met me at A&E before, though I have no other real experience with/of him. He’s suggested stoma revision surgery – my small bowel forms a sharp angle before the stoma, which narrows and causes problems. It also twists on itself, causing agony, which can then lead to an obstruction and A&E. I must admit the thought of more surgery is horrendous, but at the same time it’s not sunk in yet. I’m too busy keeping myself busy and not properly processing it all until I have to (not that I could recommend denial and business – I’m not the best of role models here!)
I had his recommended pre-op test last week to rule out any other abnormalities prior to surgery. This was a barium drink and fluoroscopy. The barium drink itself is vile, like the worst dirty pint you can imagine while having a chalky texture and consistency of wet cement. Once that was over with, however, the test was painless and straightforward, and I was done and out of the hospital far quicker than I’d anticipated. I’ll do a separate post on this soon incase knowing a little more about the experience is helpful for anyone else.
In other news… I’ve discovered some meds aren’t being absorbed, to the extent that some tablets are coming out whole in the bag (which can also block the stoma, eek!) I’ve had to request everything in liquid form and I’ve swapped my OTC supplements to crushable tablets and chewables.
I’ve been so on-and-off with taking meds for various reasons, including the above. I’ve now made myself a little medication chart so each day of the week I can tick everything off and make sure I’m back on track.
I received my Trio Ostomy Care sample kit over the weekend, complete with healthy eating booklet, seals, Pearls & apron. Guess who loves freebies!
I’ve been getting through The Circle by Dave Eggers, which knew nothing about when I started reading it. I was also unaware the 2017 film with Tom Hanks and Emma Watson is based on it. I may watch it out of curiosity at a later date, but only when I’m in a zen frame of mind because Emma Watson makes me want to fork my eyes out.
I may also look a little online shopping with The Book Depository this week because they’ve got some good discounts on at the moment.
I’ve been back to see my Pain Management therapist and although I am still in two minds about a lot of it, there are some positives in terms of it hopefully getting me past the block, the procrastination, the resistance to living and doing some of the things I want and need to do. This even includes thinking about the year and some of the goals I want to have, as well as some of the things I’d like to do. I just hit a wall and can’t push past it right now. I’m also realising more and more that I’m getting caught on the same negative thoughts and worries about work and money and future career (or lack thereof). It shouldn’t be the most important thing, and yet it is, but probably for all of the wrong reasons.
I’m also struggling with the need for busyness and productivity at the expense of anything fun or enjoyable, but that’s a whole other shit storm of mind mess to trawl through.
Apparently, I have “excellent insight and a phenomenal ability to self-analyse”. Unfortunately, overthinking can be a dangerous thing and it’s not something I’d rush to recommend. I have a few tasks for the next four weeks in the hopes of pushing past the ‘stuckness’.
I have ironed out a few teething issues with the blog and WP, and I hope you’re able to read/like/comment/ignore Invisibly Me without any problems! 🙂 Please do let me know if you have any suggestions for the blog, or anything you’d like to see featured or topics you’d enjoy covered.
I hope everyone is doing as well as possible – Thanks again for stopping by! 🌹