Dealing with an invisible illness, be it mental or physical, can be a minefield of judgements, feeling let down and being bombarded with negativity. But we have more choice over who we listen to, agree with and associate with than we think. Know your own values and trust your instincts. You deserve to be treated with respect and you shouldn’t be made to feel negative or insecure or railroaded into a certain mindset, so take back some control over who and what influences you let into your life.

1.  Bullies

If bullies in school weren’t bad enough, it seems they have no upper age limit. It’s not confined to a classroom. Adult education, home, in public, at work. They’re weak, low and try to make themselves feel better by making you feel worse. It’s easier said than done, but don’t give them the power to make you feel like that; you have the ability to be assertive, get support, ignore when possible, and rise above it.

2.  Racists, bigots, sexists, sizeists, homophobes, and anyone who thinks unjustified discrimination is acceptable

There’s a place for politically incorrect jokes and forgiveness for some small degree of ignorance. There’s no place for prejudiced treatment, violence or hate when it comes to these areas.

3.  Fickle friends

Everyone knows someone that’s let them down or done something to upset them. People grow and change and move on, so sometimes it’s par for the course. If they don’t reply to your messages, aren’t there for you as a friend as you are for them, and make you feel like crap because it’s a one-sided effort, then perhaps it’s time to accept them as a casual acquaintance, or cut the cord completely and move on. I’ve lost so many friends when my life started falling apart and my health problems got worse. I don’t actually have friends around anymore to hang out or get support from nearby, but online friends have proven invaluable. It hurts less when you stop caring so much about those who let you down and you can find the compassion and friendship you deserve in other places. Plus, you come to realise just how strong and independent you really are. 

4.  Controllers

From someone who messages and calls you a little too often for your liking, to, at worst, those who control various aspects of your life and manipulate you for a living. If you see a relationship going this way, face it head on. If you need help, please seek it – A friend, family, online support, a professional – you don’t need to deal with this alone.  You have the freedom of choice and speech, a freedom to live your own life as you see fit. No one should make you feel uncomfortable, watched, pushed, controlled or as if you are answerable to them.

5.  The media that tells us what to do/eat/believe, what not to do, and how we should look  

We know better than to believe all the bullshit we read. Take the latest fads, diets and superfoods with a pinch of salt. Don’t be swayed and persuaded, bullied or pushed around by invisible know-it-alls. You are who you are. Your life is yours and we’re all different; our hobbies, interests, bodies, skin, health, occupation, bank balance, beliefs. Let’s start celebrating that diversity rather than letting ourselves be compared to idealistic standards that don’t exist and that we will never measure up to (because it’s impossible!) We are beautiful and brilliant, just the way we are 🌹

Tell the bullshit to piss off.

 

 

17 thoughts on “5 Negative Influences You Can Tell To P*ss Off To Improve Your Mental Wellbeing”

  1. With social networks and our modern cyber world, friend is a word that is overused and trampled on much more often than most give a second thought to. In my life, I can count my friends in one hand, Christ, my husband, my children, my dad, and one unconditional girlfriend of over 20 years. It took me many years to come to the conclusion that most everyone else is a neighbor, and yes, we are to love our neighbor, but not all our neighbors are friends …not even here in the land of blog.
    Nice visiting today.
    <3

  2. It’s so easy to not think that just because someone is older that its not considered bullying, but it definately is. If they make you uncomfortable theres obviously a reason behind this. Great post x

  3. I’m sure anyone with a chronic illness can identify with what you’ve written here! Everyone deserves friends to hang out with (even if it’s only every now and then) next time I’m your way we will have to meet up! Moving on from rubbish friends hasn’t been as difficult as I expected but although most of my family are really supportive some have been completely uncaring and selfish. I find that harder to deal with than anything else!

  4. First of all, I love your blog. I’m a spoonie myself so can relate a lot to you – as I have endometriosis and hypothyroidism.

    Fickle friends used to get to me, but having a chronic illness and working in retail has turned me into an introvert, so it really doesn’t bother me anymore.

    Following your journey. <3

    1. Sorry to hear hear that, i am definitely going more introvert. Even though i am fairly confident, people just keep taking my good energy away, what a waste.

    2. Thank you so much for the follow and the lovely comment, Brandy. I’m sorry to read that you know pain and the hurt of fickle friends too. Following your journey now also 🙂
      Caz x

  5. YES! I love this blog post!
    It’s only now I’m in my 30s that I truly don’t care about other people’s opinions and am confident in who I am and what I think. If other people don’t like it, I just don’t care. I’m me and I’m happy with that 🙂
    I only wish I had this self confidence through school and my twenties!

    1. That’s wonderful to hear, and I think it can take some people far longer to get to that point (who then also wish they’d felt like that by their twenties!) Thanks for the awesome comment 🙂
      Caz xx

  6. “Let’s start celebrating that diversity rather than letting ourselves be compared to idealistic standards.”

    That’s a really good advice. We should not concentrate on other’s shit. We must focus on what we are doing. Because they are not going to answer your questions when you are on deathbed. But you will.
    One life; live well; live fully.
    BTW, I liked your words. Thanks.

    1. It’s tough when it’s someone close, especially family, because it’s something that shouldn’t happen. It does, and power to you for standing up for yourself. Thanks for the comment 🙂

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